The Tricky Business of Letting Go

What exactly is it about letting go that freaks us all out so much? Well, if you ask me, I reckon it's all to do with attachment. We get so attached to people, things, situations, positions, beliefs, opinions and so on that we actually believe we can't live without them. In effect, we believe that we are those things. And if we want to overcome our fear of letting go, then that's the first belief we absolutely have to let go of.

Try reminding yourself every day – as many times as you remember - “I am not my beliefs” for starters and once that new way of thinking has had time to register, you'll find the whole process much easier. This is not just wishful thinking, the fact that you are much more than your beliefs has the added bit of clout that it is, in fact, The Truth. Most of our beliefs, at the end of the day, are inherited. We learn them from our parents or carers, our teachers, our partners, friends, so-called “authority figures” or society as a whole. But as we journey through our lives, there are inevitably times when certain beliefs we once held dear no longer serve us in a positive way. To keep growing and developing, it is essential that we are able to let these outmoded beliefs & opinions go. There is nothing wrong with this – it is entirely natural, no matter what anyone else says and no matter what the outcome or changes this letting go may bring about. And you certainly don't need to be all uppity and superior about it, nor do you have to beat yourself up for once entertaining ideas that are no longer relevant in your life. You've outgrown them, that's all and you're perfectly within your rights to acknowledge that they've worked for you in the past, but to affirm that you now have a different way of being so you're releasing them gently and with love. It might all sound a bit namby-pamby and pointless, but try it – it's more powerful than you might expect.

Once that idea has had time to settle and become hardwired into your inner circuitry, it becomes clear that it can be applied to all aspects of your life. Of course, we all love certain people and hope to have them in our lives forever. We are proud of our positions in society, the money we've made, the things we've accumulated over the years – nice house, car, gadgets, holidays etc. But the simple fact is, nothing and no-one is guaranteed to be around for ever. Anything could happen – we've all seen it in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. Anything. And there's nothing we can do about it, except to change the way we look at it. Letting go of the fear and the dread is the first step; a close second is to make sure we take time every day to appreciate and give thanks for those people and things. Then if someone or something is suddenly taken from our lives, we can go through the whole grieving process – which is perfectly natural, essential in fact – safe in the knowledge that we will handle this.

The thing to remember is that everything happens for a reason. Even if you can't see it at the time. The Tao has it all under control and is working for your highest good all the time – fact - even if you can't for the life of you understand why. We've all had these situations – when we look back and say “wow, had it not been for that horrible thing happening, then this really good thing would never have happened” - haven't we? So, even though it's difficult to remember when you're in the midst of having to let something or someone go, why would you think that this time would be any different? The Tao will never let you down, and the more you can show your trust of it, by letting go with grace and gratitude, the easier the process and the more empowered you become. This doesn't make us hard-nosed, unfeeling so-and-sos, quite the opposite. When we start to trust in ourselves and in the grand scheme of things, it ultimately makes it easier for everybody concerned. Our decisions become more love-based and clear, in other words.

Everything changes – some things go, new things come in. It's life and it's wonderful.

However it appears initially, keep remembering, all change is good.