Breaking Free from Restrictive Situations

The good news is – there is no such thing as a restrictive situation. The bad news is – we just don´t (or won´t) believe it.

The illusion of reality is so strong that we honestly believe that certain situations, certain people, certain groups of people “out there” have some kind of hold over us and are the ones restricting us. And that, quite simply, is not the case.

Whilst it might appear on the surface that we are stuck in this mind-numbing job because (sharp inhale) how else would we pay the bills; whilst there may seem to be no way out of the abusive relationship we´ve tolerated for years; whilst we “just couldn´t” upsticks and move out of the two-horse town our family has lived in for generations; whilst we would never have the nerve to suggest a Yoga retreat as the annual holiday with our friends, instead of the obligatory week-long drinking binge in Iyanapa – what we need to understand is that all restrictions are self-imposed. They are inside us, not “out there”. And given that, as universal law dictates (whether we like it or believe in it or not), the outer world reflects our inner state of being, then it would seem to make sense to change the situation from the inside – in other words, change how we perceive the situation in our mind´s eye – and watch outer reality follow suit. Wouldn´t it? Good....

I know I rattle on and on in these columns about the power of affirmations, but what can I tell you...I do them all the time and they work. ´Nuff said. So, it should come as no surprise that my first suggestion, if you´re serious about breaking free from whatever restrictions you are experiencing in your life, is the following affirmation which I learned from Barefoot Doctor at his Global Meditation & Dub Spirit events.

“I am free to do whatever I choose. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.”

Over and over again – it´s a good one to chant in your head (or under your breath...even at the top of your voice if the fancy takes you) whilst walking, I´ve found. By keeping on affirming this with as much feeling behind it as you can muster, you are in effect stating to the Tao, the Universe, your Higher Self, God/dess, the Divine (whatever your preferred term for the Absolute) that you are now living in a state of trust and faith that the miracle, the gift of your being alive here and now was not to make you suffer or struggle, or to restrict you in any way. We are divine sparks of light, perfect expressions of the Tao in human form – how can that ever be restricted? Think about it. It can´t!

If you are feeling restricted in any area of your life, it is a sign that there is something better awaiting you. It is nothing less than an opportunity to move forward, to grow, to achieve your full potential, to attain your perfect fulfilment and satisfaction – you deserve no less and rest assured, this is what the Tao expressing itself through you wants.

So, welcome the restrictions – or at least acknowledge them. Then spend time visualising yourself in your mind´s eye, completely free of all restrictions – feeling relieved and exhilarated and immensely grateful for the way things have turned out. And here´s the tricky bit for us control-freak humans – DO NOT try to figure out the hows and whys – you don´t need to know HOW it will all work out (this will only get in the way of the power behind this visualisation because your rational mind will end up talking you out of it by telling you how this couldn´t possibly work because of that blah blah blah) – you just need to put out the message to the universe that you trust that it WILL all work out. And you know why that is....it´s because that´s the universe´s job – to sort out the details and shift reality about so that your affirmations and visualisations manifest in the “real” world in the best possible way for you and everyone else concerned.

It´s the expert at it.

We´re rubbish at it.

So, just ask it to do it and let it get on with it.

And above all, as you find these perceived restrictions suddenly magically and effortlessly overcome, as you find yourself naturally flowing more easily in your life, don´t forget to maintain an attitude of gratitude.

To everyone and everything in your life.

To all that is.

Always.

:)

Lighten up!

I´ve got to tell you that I started writing this column yesterday, but gave up on it after an hour or so of struggling to make it sound anything like interesting. It was only after I´d walked away from my computer in a huff, convinced that I would never write anything of any worth ever again, that the irony hit me. Here I was, writing a column on lightening up....and taking it oh so very seriously!

And that´s the whole point, isn´t it? The times we need to lighten up are the times when we are taking ourselves seriously – and as human beings, we tend to do that quite a lot. But the simple fact is that no matter what appears to “happen” to us, it´s how we choose to respond, how we choose to view it, that has the power to make us feel this way or that – not the actual happening itself. We can choose to let that shop assistant who was so rude to us earlier put us in a bad mood for the rest of the day; we can choose to let one perceived failing or embarrassment knock our confidence; we can choose to allow the odd let-down or disappointment to shake our faith in human nature...or, we can acknowledge the experience, then choose to focus on the positive, the good experiences, the good people and the success we´ve known in our lives.

This, I suppose is pretty basic day-to-day stuff – but what about when something really huge happens? Something that, no matter how you look at it, is bad, unexpected and unwelcome in your life? I´m certainly not suggesting that every major event or upset be handled with a forced laugh or chin-up type mentality. On the contrary, it is crucial to allow all the pain and all the sadness to come to the surface, otherwise it will fester and cause a whole host of other problems to arise. Unresolved issues and swept-under-the-carpet feelings, on an energetic level, never disappear. What we need to understand is that everything happens for a reason, to teach us something, to give us the gift of learning and growing. Again, how we choose to handle these kinds of situations is entirely up to us. Lightening up does not mean being flippant, or ignoring something that is upsetting to us. It means dealing with it consciously, figuring out what help we need and then actively seeking it.

The Universal Law of Yin and Yang is ever present. What this means is that when things are at their darkest, when we are feeling at our worst, as difficult as it may be to believe at the time, a period of light has already started. Fact. If we can allow ourselves to trust in this and not be too overwhelmed, too engrossed in our negative feelings, then we are more open to accept the light when it starts to shine on us, as inevitably it will.

Conversely, when things are at a peak – when everything is wonderful for us – this heralds a period of dark commencing. This is not depressing, not something we should dread, it´s simply something very useful to bear in mind. The trick is not to take either too seriously. If we can remain in a state of grace and gratitude whether we are in a “dark” time or a “light” time, safe in the knowledge that “this too shall pass” and not get too carried away with the drama of being either over-excited when things are “good”, or over-depressed when things are “bad” then we are in the flow of life and the more easily we can handle anything.

We are not taking ourselves too seriously.

And if you do find yourself succumbing to seriousness and heaviness, here´s an affirmation that works for me (and I do have a tendency to take myself seriously if I don´t keep an eye on myself!)

“I am love and light”.

Because, of course, that´s what we are – divine sparks of light. Whatever happens in your life, remember that, and remember also the lovely quote:

“Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”

Love and light(ness) to you all. :)

Self-Healing

Self-healing is one of those funny things – we don´t really think about doing it until something goes wrong and we find ourselves sick.

Perhaps it´s something to do with our system of medicine in the west – I mean, we only go to the doctors after we actually become ill. When was the last time you visited your local GP and said “no, everything´s fine thanks, doc. I was just wondering if there was a prescription you could give me to help me keep it that way”? So, we´re used to paying attention to our bodies only when they are displaying unpleasant or frightening symptoms.

What we need to understand is that by the time we get to that stage – by the time we are sick – our bodies have, in fact, been giving us warnings and messages which we have ignored or misunderstood, so the only alternative left is for them to stop us in our tracks, make us ill and make us do something about it. Wouldn´t it make more sense if we could just take a few moments each day to consciously tune into our bodies and listen to what they´re trying to tell us – and thereby prevent many of the illnesses we fall prey to? This is the core of true self-healing.

And...it´s easy.

I found myself naturally starting to do this as I was doing my Reiki attunements – although you certainly don´t need to be a Reiki healer – or any other kind of qualified healer for that matter – to practice this. It´s just common sense. Get into the habit of noticing what´s going on in your body. For instance, if your shoulders get sore after a while sitting at your computer, you might want to change your posture and expand everything a little bit. If you find yourself feeling bloaty at the end of the day, perhaps it´s a message to drink more water. If your chest feels tight in certain situations or in the company in certain people, it might be a good idea to focus on breathing deeply into your abdomen. Persistent heartburn could well be a sign that you´re eating too much rich, spicy food. Lower back pain in a morning might be a message to change your mattress. Simple things – but noticing them and taking action could prevent a whole host of unpleasant and unnecessary nastiness.

Prevention is better than cure, as they say, and I believe them. Our bodies are always on our side; they know what is best for them and for us. And if we could take this a stage further and spend a few moments, preferably each day, visualising a beam of golden light from the universe, entering us through our crown chakra, flowing naturally down our bodies, gently but firmly coursing through any areas of stuck energy, any areas of dis-ease or potential dis-ease and replacing them immediately with healing energy for our highest and greatest good, then we could save ourselves a whole host of possible problems. We become stronger and more in tune with our bodies and our health.

Regular practice of something like Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Yoga or swimming – something that aligns the breath with the movement of the body and gets the chi flowing healthily around the body are also wonderful tools in the self-healing process.

But of course, there might come times when, with the best will in the world, we get ill as I found out myself just the other day. We´d been out to a restaurant with my parents, for a farewell dinner on the last night of their visit here and even though we´d throughly enjoyed our meals, both me and my hubby woke up through the night with chronic pains in our stomachs and...not wanting to be too graphic...an urgent need for the bathroom – an experience that proved most unpleasant for both of us! This continued for a good couple of days, leaving us feeling drained and decidedly off-colour. Now, these kinds of things can´t be avoided – sometimes shit happens (pun intended!). But, if we are strong to start with, we can handle it much better and more healthily. It´s important at times like these to accept you´re feeling lousy and be gentle with yourself. Keep visualising that stream of healing energy fighting the negative and doing you good. Ask it directly to do so and trust that it will.

Maintaining a sense of gratitude also helps enormously. If one part of your body is feeling sick, send it love and healing, then focus on and give thanks for another part that is functioning well and healthily. Focus on all the blessings of your life and I guarantee that before long, that gratitude and positivity will have an impact on the not-so good aspects.

For now, even though Mike and I are far from recovered from our stomach upsets, I´m choosing to focus on giving thanks for all the things working well within my body.

And above all, I give thanks for the fact that we have two bathrooms in our house!!!

Sending healing light and love to everyone reading this.

Namaste.

Stepping out of your Comfort Zone

Now, why on earth would we want to do that? Isn´t being in our comfort zone all kind of comfortable and comforting? Well, yes, for a while, but Clint Eastwood summed it up nicely in an interview I saw with him recently. He said that when he was a child his father had told him that you either expand or decay - “and I didn´t want to decay.” You have to admit, it seems to have worked well for him, and I figured, if it´s good enough for Clint, then it´s good enough for us.

We stay in our comfort zones due to the stories we are telling ourselves about our lives, our capabilities, our talents, our weaknesses, our backgrounds – and countless other elements that we perceive as making up “us” and our place in the world. And for the most part, this is a pretty limited vision – partly due to the fact that a lot of our beliefs about ourselves are inherited from parents, teachers, family, friends and other influential people in our lives, and it simply doesn´t occur to us to question it; and partly due to our own lack of self-confidence and belief in ourselves.

But that´s all it is – a vision. And we can expand it any time we want, in fact, we all do. Those times we catch ourselves daydreaming about how things could have been, entertaining those fantasies in which we are perfect – the true hero/heroine of our life movie. Come on, don´t pretend you don´t know what I mean...we´ve all used hairbrushes as microphones and sung in front of an adoring, imaginary audience; we´ve all been the one who kicked the bad man´s butt and saved the day - that kind of thing! The reason we inevitably snap ourselves out of these “fantasies” is because it somehow feels easier and safer to stay put. To stay where things are familiar and you´re not venturing out into the land of the unknown.

Wouldn´t it be something, though, if we did just allow ourselves to go with these expanded visions?

Take a quiet few moments and just let your mind expand out and out, and see where it takes you. What is your greatest vision of yourself? It doesn´t matter if your rational mind starts sniggering at you and trying to get you to stop being so ridiculous and please come back to reality right now before you make a complete fool of yourself. It´s important to understand that it´s more than likely this vision will be acting very much like a dream – in other words, more symbolic than literal. What does it mean or signify to you personally? How does it make you feel? For instance, in my mind´s eye, I can hold an arena full of admiring fans enraptured with my amazingly powerful and beautiful voice as I belt out song after song and take the roof off the place. In reality, I´m very self-conscious and completely tone-deaf!! It´s at this stage, if we listen to our rational minds, that we feel stupid at even daring to think such unrealistic thoughts and quickly push them away.

What I´m suggesting is that each of these thoughts is trying to tell us something about ourselves and where we could be heading next, if we want to step out of our comfort zone and fulfil our highest potential. Me standing on stage singing has nothing to do with me standing on stage singing – were I ever to find myself on a stage, microphone in hand, in front of thousands of people, I guarantee I would throw up. No, what it symbolises to me personally is my deep-held wish to have my voice heard, to make people feel better, uplifted, inspired by my words – in reality, words I write, certainly not words I sing!

So, if stepping out of your comfort zone and achieving your highest potential is your thing, allow yourself to think BIG. It´s not childish, it´s not unrealistic and it´s not pointless. You just need to quiet your rational mind enough to hear the true message of your higher self which is concerned only with your highest good and in showing you the next best possible and most empowering step you could take.

Understand.

Trust.

Then go for it!