Accepting yourself

What is it that makes accepting ourselves so difficult? I mean, surely it should be the easiest thing in the world. What could there possibly be not to accept about ourselves?

LOADS OF STUFF!!! We've been raised and conditioned to take on board our so-called “authority figures'” - parents, teachers, religious leaders etc – beliefs, attitudes and behavioural patterns as our own. We inherit a plethora of rules and ways of doing things that are unquestioningly deemed to be “right” from people who, more often than not, inherited them themselves from their authority figures. And should we start to feel that any of these imposed ways of being does not suit us and stray away from the pre-determined path, guilt immediately ensues, we beat ourselves up mercilessly, all because we are not accepting ourselves.

But when you really think about it – what we're failing to accept is not really ourselves. What we've stopped accepting is the status quo. And that's scary for anyone, no matter how head-strong (in fact, usually the more head-strong someone appears, the more scared they really are). If we do things our own way, follow our own path and be ourselves, we think we run the risk of alienation. People won't like us any more. People might laugh at us. People might try to f*ck it all up for us. People might become our enemies and no-one will understand us. We'll be on our own.

And that is utter bullshit! It's your monkey-mind (the incessant chattering at the front of your head, keeping a running commentary of how it perceives everything to be) trying to protect you – which is very nice of it, but if accepting yourself is a key issue, it needs to be reigned in. It's likely to be making some sound points, but it's like a snowball – the more you let it roll, the bigger it gets until it totally drowns out the quiet, reassuring voice of your higher self, whispering to you from deep in the back of your mind. Your higher self accepts you fully and totally period. It doesn't need to work on it, like you do – it just does. So it's a powerful ally in your quest to accept yourself. Tune into it as often as you can and you'll be surprised at just how rapidly you can strengthen your connection to this gentle voice within simply by regularly affirming it to be so. It's the regularity that causes the magic here. Try something like “I now choose to listen to my higher self” every time you go to the loo or whenever you get a quiet few moments to yourself, then don't expect anything remarkable straight away (although you may experience an epiphany) but do be sensitive to subtle changes and sudden ideas that seem to pop into your mind. You may find old, outdated behavioural patterns that no longer serve any positive purpose in your life fade out; you might suddenly understand why you always react a certain way in certain situations; childhood memories and/or dreams might throw light on a part of yourself you're not accepting; or you may simply feel a wave of love and acceptance from your higher self, from the Tao within that knows you only as the perfect divine spark of love and light that you truly are.

And that's all that really matters at the end of the day. We could talk until we're blue in the face about the multitude of reasons we, as human beings, find it difficult to accept ourselves totally. But I'm so selfish. But I'm such a weak person. But I'm so lazy. But I always mess everything up. But I can never maintain a relationship. But I've done something so awful in the past. But I'm a fraud. But, but, but! There will always be some part of us we're not that happy with, something we're ashamed of, something we try to hide – human beings are complicated and the world of the ten thousand things is a complicated, confusing place to be! But by remembering that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around, then we remember our true nature – and that takes no accepting at all.

It just is.

You are a perfect expression of the Tao in human form.

We all are. And that's all you need to know. Be happy!