The Time to Be Happy...

During my recent trip back to the UK, I called in to visit my “Auntie” Sylvia. Auntie Sylvia is one of those wonderfully special aunties who, along with her two sisters – Auntie Margery and Auntie Rita (both sadly...for us left behind at least...now in spirit) – are not actually relatives; I´ve just always called them, and looked on them, as my aunties.

Like many elderly people´s houses, I found Auntie Sylvia´s home hadn´t changed a bit in the four years since I had last seen it. All the little nick-nacks and ornaments that had fascinated me as a child were still displayed in exactly the same spots; the two-foot-tall, home-knitted stuffed cats that had been used as doorstops for as long as I could remember, still stood sentry next to the threshold, and the powdered milk was still kept in the same floral container on the dining table next to the portable television. It all looked and smelled so comfortingly familiar!

But the thing that really drew my attention was the delicate china plate displayed, as it has always been, on the wall next to the window. It´s a Holly Hobbie plate – remember Holly Hobbie in her prairie-style, patchwork dress and massive, floppy bonnet? Well, there she is on this plate, holding a bunch of flowers, and around the edge of the plate are the words - “the time to be happy is now.”

I´ve bleated on in this blog about the universe being in constant communication with us, sending us messages and signs all day long, more often than I care to admit, and for me, this really was the perfect example. This lovely little plate that has been a regular fixture and fitting in my life for so many years had always held this message for me...and for everybody else who saw it. And yet, although on some level, I must have known what the words said, they had never lodged consciously. Had somebody asked me “what´s the saying on that Holly Hobbie plate?” I would have been hard-pressed to remember, I´m sure.

So, it´s taken the best part of 40 years, but finally I got the message, and am very grateful for it too. It´s such a simple, positive and uplifting message...and so true. The time to be happy is now. Of course it is...but we have to choose to let it be.

The message has somehow stuck with me and seemed to be prompting me give some thought to it, and to the whole concept of happiness. What is it exactly? I mean, I could rattle off a list of things that make me happy – living on a beautiful Mediterranean island, going out for a lovely meal with my husband, picking my parents up at the airport when I haven´t seen them for a few months, my cats, Reiki, writing, Tai Chi, Yoga, giving some-one a gift they absolutely love, walking on the beach – the list is endless and whilst some of the things that make me personally happy wouldn´t particularly make another person happy, they would doubtless still nod in approval and understanding were they to read my “things that make me happy” list. We all have “nice” things that we do, or “nice” things that happen to us to make us happy. And that´s good, I´m not saying that it´s not, but happiness itself is something quite different to the things that happen to us, or the people that make us happy.

It´s all too easy to become attached to these things and people – we tell ourselves the story that in order to be happy, these are the things that we need. But when we really break it down, it´s not the things, activities or people themselves that are the happiness. Happiness is the sense of gratitude, excitement, fulfilment, inspiration, wonder, trust and relaxation that these things and people generate within us. If we can learn to connect these very sentiments to every single aspect of our lives – the seemingly “bad” things as well as the “good” - then we are in a better position to find true happiness.

Going with the flow, allowing change to happen in our lives, and accepting that everything is working out for our greater good, no matter how it appears at the time, is the key to allowing ourselves to feel happiness at any given moment...including now.

Give it a go, next time something happens that you view as “bad” - be grateful for it, for the opportunity to learn and grow, feel excited and inspired, trust that it is perfect for you right now. And then you´ll see, the time to be happy really is now. No matter what.

After all, would Holly Hobbie lie to us?

I think not ;)

The Tricky Business of Letting Go

What exactly is it about letting go that freaks us all out so much? Well, if you ask me, I reckon it's all to do with attachment. We get so attached to people, things, situations, positions, beliefs, opinions and so on that we actually believe we can't live without them. In effect, we believe that we are those things. And if we want to overcome our fear of letting go, then that's the first belief we absolutely have to let go of.

Try reminding yourself every day – as many times as you remember - “I am not my beliefs” for starters and once that new way of thinking has had time to register, you'll find the whole process much easier. This is not just wishful thinking, the fact that you are much more than your beliefs has the added bit of clout that it is, in fact, The Truth. Most of our beliefs, at the end of the day, are inherited. We learn them from our parents or carers, our teachers, our partners, friends, so-called “authority figures” or society as a whole. But as we journey through our lives, there are inevitably times when certain beliefs we once held dear no longer serve us in a positive way. To keep growing and developing, it is essential that we are able to let these outmoded beliefs & opinions go. There is nothing wrong with this – it is entirely natural, no matter what anyone else says and no matter what the outcome or changes this letting go may bring about. And you certainly don't need to be all uppity and superior about it, nor do you have to beat yourself up for once entertaining ideas that are no longer relevant in your life. You've outgrown them, that's all and you're perfectly within your rights to acknowledge that they've worked for you in the past, but to affirm that you now have a different way of being so you're releasing them gently and with love. It might all sound a bit namby-pamby and pointless, but try it – it's more powerful than you might expect.

Once that idea has had time to settle and become hardwired into your inner circuitry, it becomes clear that it can be applied to all aspects of your life. Of course, we all love certain people and hope to have them in our lives forever. We are proud of our positions in society, the money we've made, the things we've accumulated over the years – nice house, car, gadgets, holidays etc. But the simple fact is, nothing and no-one is guaranteed to be around for ever. Anything could happen – we've all seen it in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. Anything. And there's nothing we can do about it, except to change the way we look at it. Letting go of the fear and the dread is the first step; a close second is to make sure we take time every day to appreciate and give thanks for those people and things. Then if someone or something is suddenly taken from our lives, we can go through the whole grieving process – which is perfectly natural, essential in fact – safe in the knowledge that we will handle this.

The thing to remember is that everything happens for a reason. Even if you can't see it at the time. The Tao has it all under control and is working for your highest good all the time – fact - even if you can't for the life of you understand why. We've all had these situations – when we look back and say “wow, had it not been for that horrible thing happening, then this really good thing would never have happened” - haven't we? So, even though it's difficult to remember when you're in the midst of having to let something or someone go, why would you think that this time would be any different? The Tao will never let you down, and the more you can show your trust of it, by letting go with grace and gratitude, the easier the process and the more empowered you become. This doesn't make us hard-nosed, unfeeling so-and-sos, quite the opposite. When we start to trust in ourselves and in the grand scheme of things, it ultimately makes it easier for everybody concerned. Our decisions become more love-based and clear, in other words.

Everything changes – some things go, new things come in. It's life and it's wonderful.

However it appears initially, keep remembering, all change is good.