For most of my adult life, I've always gone along with the belief that We are spiritual beings having a human experience, rather than the other way around, but recently I've begun to see that this could, actually, be a bit of an understatement.
My tendency was to think that my physical body housed my spirit, and that when I was ready to leave the planet and this life experience, I would drop the body, and the spirit would...well, I wasn't too sure exactly what the spirit would do at that point, to be honest, but I knew it would be something darned spiritual.
Recently, though, I've come to the understanding that although, yes, our bodies are the vehicles our spirits or souls inhabit in order to have this human experience...whilst we are here, we are still actually in spirit at the same time. It is not a case of us being released back to the Source when we die – there is an element of us that has always remained there while we have been off doing our physical thing.
You're all probably reading this, thinking 'yeah, Jin, tell us something we don't know,” and if that's the case, then please excuse me, but it hit me like a sledge-hammer the other day and now, here I am, finding myself sitting here writing about it.
I like to call this non-physical part of me The Big I Am, firstly because it is WAY bigger than the little physical me, and secondly because it makes me smile and The Big I Am seems to like smiles much more than tears or anger.
The Big I Am is on your side one hundred percent, s/he loves you unconditionally no matter what. From The Big I Am's all-embracing perspective (as opposed to our limited 3-D one), everything is perfect; your life is perfect and you are perfect. Your life might feel to be confusing, or in a mess, but rest assured, The Big I Am sees the whole picture and will be trying to reassure you and steer you in the right direction at all times.
You might be beating yourself up for something 'unforgivable' that you have done, you may be struggling to like yourself because of your very human-ness which in itself means that we are not perfect or filled with grace all of the time - sometimes we get it 'wrong' - but The Big I Am sees all this, blesses it and releases it so that you can, if you wish, learn and move on.
Other people may be pushing you to your very limits with their demands, their hurtfulness, even their hate...The Big I Am is whispering encouragement to you to protect or remove yourself from harmful people and situations, you deserve better and you are worthy of love. Always.
Above all, whatever is going on in your life, no matter how bad it seems, or how badly people seem to be treating you, or how badly you think you've screwed things up, The Big I Am never gives up on you and once you tune into that knowing, and really feel the truth of it, then neither will you.
So, if this is all old news to you, and I'm a bit slow off the mark here, then perhaps the reason I've been so compelled to write this is not to tell you something you already know, but just to remind you. The Big I Am is there with you always, and all you need to do – especially if you are in an upsetting or seemingly impossible situation – is to throw a quick glance over your shoulder (I always use my left one for some reason) and ask to be aligned with your non-physical self.
I can't say exactly how it will work out for you, but I'm willing to wager a small bet that by consciously connecting in this way, by allowing the unconditional love and grace of the The Big I am to flow through you, you will suddenly have the subtle knowing that, hey, everything's all right and there's nothing you can't handle...which is the most empowering feeling in the world and, I'd go so far as to say, perhaps the only thing that really matters at the end of the day.
And that's really pretty much all there is to it...simple and obvious...yet an awakening that when it comes, ensures that life can never be the same again because you can never be a victim and there is nothing that you can't handle.
Bring it on!
Namaste.
I've given a lot of animals a lot of Reiki over the years, and I've had some amazing experiences, but it's safe to say that the most bonkers one happened just recently when I was asked to Reiki the dog of a friend of a friend.
I'm going to change the names here to protect identities, so let's say the dog's name is Maya, her owner is Leanne and my friend is Susan.
Maya is one of the most unique and beautiful dogs I have ever met, and Leanne was worried that there was something wrong with her back or her spine, as she seemed to be throwing her leg out when she walked and sometimes struggled to run. There had even been a few occasions when she had seemed unable to stand up by herself, and Leanne had had to help her to her feet. She'd been to the vets numerous times, and had even tried a few alternative therapies, but nothing worked and the vet couldn't find anything wrong with the dog.
Even though I'd gone to the house to visit, this turned into a distance healing, as Maya got fed up of my hands on her after about ten minutes and took herself off to bed! I just stayed where I was and meditated, sending her healing and trying to tune into her. And it was just really weird, because I wasn't getting any sense of anything; I don't diagnose problems with pets, but I can usually pick up on something – a blockage or imbalance, or sometimes a sense of what is troubling them – but with Maya, there was nothing. She seemed perfectly comfortable and happy, almost a bit bemused as to why I was there in the first place
So, this should be a good thing, right? Well, actually no! After the session I was at a bit of a loss as to what to say to Leanne as when we had been discussing all her previous treatments, she was clearly disappointed that no-one could shine any light on what was wrong with Maya, and felt that none of the others – including the vet – knew what they were doing as their treatments hadn't “worked”. And now, here I was, having to tell her the self-same thing...eeek!!! I put it as tactfully as I could, telling her that Maya was obviously very happy in her life and that I wasn't picking up on anything sinister...perhaps she would find this would turn out to be one of those freakish things that righted itself in time.
I could tell she wasn't convinced, or satisfied with my feedback (something re-affirmed by my friend Susan who told me that when she'd asked Leanne about the Reiki, she'd just huffed that all I'd said was that Maya was happy, and of course she's not happy, is she?) but, hey, what could I do? This was what I'd felt and I wasn't going to start lying or making stuff up.
So, I tried to just put it down to experience; one of the things you have to expect from time to time if you're a healer...not every session is going to be one hundred percent positive and sometimes there is going to be resistance...and that could be for a whole host of reasons and issues...no need to take it personally. Still, it kind of bugged and puzzled me more than I would have liked or expected, but then yesterday, I met up with Susan and it all suddenly made sense.
She told me that Leanne had recently undergone several days' worth of intense and very intrusive tests because...she didn't know exactly why, but she was convinced that something serious was wrong with her. She had been utterly disbelieving when every result came back all-clear and there was nothing amiss.
Bingo!
Leanne had been projecting her fears and conviction that something was “wrong” onto Maya, who had taken it all on board herself and played her role to perfection.
I thought it was worth writing about this as it is a great reminder as to just how sensitive and wise our pets really are. I'm guessing anyone with a much-loved animal companion has had the experience of that pet sensing when they are ill or upset and trying in their own way to comfort them – we all know that pets can sense our moods – this is not a groundbreaking revelation I know! But what this shows is that it goes deeper than we perhaps realise. As human beings who are aware that we are affected by other people's energy, we can consciously put protection around ourselves if we are in the presence of somebody who is negative, nasty or just not in harmony with us...but animals can't do that.
So, it's our responsibility, as loving pet-owners, to make sure we don't unconsciously project our “stuff” onto our furry friends. Maybe try visualising golden light surrounding your pet and affirm silently (or out loud if the fancy takes you) to the universe that your pet is now protected from all unwanted, inappropriate, negative or damaging energies. Or ask the angels or faeries to keep your pet safe from harmful thought-forms. Or simply sit and tell your pet that, from now on, this is the new arrangement...he or she will now only ever be affected by good, positive, loving energy. There's no right or wrong way to do this, you're the one with the close relationship to your pet, so you do whatever feels right for you.
The main thing is the insight here, the understanding that this can happen and, armed with that knowledge, you can state your intention in whatever way you want that your pet or pets are now safe and protected from it.
Fascinating stuff, eh? And just serves to remind me why I love working with animals so much – they truly are amazing souls.
If anyone would like me to send distance Reiki to your pet or pets, please let me know. Details of how it all works can be found on the right hand column of my other blog, http://faeryforestmagic.blogspot.com/ :)
A few days ago, a very dear friend of mine announced her intention to practice making herself invisible during meditation.
Fair enough, we both had a bit of a giggle and a banter about this, but at the same time, understanding that we are all just energy condensed to a slow vibration – which gives us the illusion of appearing solid - we were willing to go along with the idea that with some practice and focused, conscious intent, “fading ourselves out around the edges” so to speak, and becoming less noticeable to those around us was not only possible, but also quite a neat and handy trick. My husband swears that, as a small boy, he put this to the test when he was on a bus but didn't have any money for his fare. This was way back in the days of bus conductors (yes, we really are that old!) and as the scary man in the peaked hat with his money satchel & ticket machine criss-crossed over his chest made his way through the bus, Mike prayed and prayed to be invisible. The conductor simply walked past him.
So, all this talk about invisibility got me to thinking, and I realised that this was, in fact (amongst many others), one of the wonderful lessons Ibiza has been trying to teach me. Invisibility really is possible – not only is it possible to make ourselves invisible, but we can also make those people who are no longer serving a positive purpose in our lives, invisible to us.
As I've stated on countless occasions in this blog, living on Ibiza has been an eye-opening experience to say the least, and the lessons and new understandings I've been blessed with – whilst tough at times – have been invaluable and I wouldn't have missed out on a single one. And this particular one feels like an important one for me to be sharing with you all today.
Our relationships and interactions with other people are about the most complex thing we have to deal with whilst on the planet. No two relationships are the same, no two sets of feelings are the same – in short, we are completely on our own when it comes to us and our feelings about our relationships. Even the other person or people involved don't really know how we feel about them; it is absolutely 100% within us and nobody else can possibly be in there, experiencing our feelings with us.
Which is why things get so confusing when, for some reason, we don't resonate with someone (or suddenly stop resonating with someone), yet, other people we love and respect have no problem with them. We might even start to feel guilty – especially if others are telling us we “should” make an effort and like this particular person (and this happens more intensely when it's disharmony within the family). And when guilt kicks in, well, that's guaranteed to create an even messier situation because guilt loves to lash out, point the finger and prove itself right over and over again in order to justify its own existence. Then the whole thing escalates and gets completely out of control.
This has happened a number of times in my life since I moved to Ibiza and began being compelled to think things out for myself and make my own decisions, rather than just blindly conforming to inherited beliefs and behaviours. It's taken me a bit of time to get used to this new liberating way of being – it's flipping scary and hard work standing out against the majority, or those you genuinely care for but have a difference of opinion with. So, if you have a similar situation going on in your life, or if you've read so far and think you might as well continue, here's my take on the whole thing.
Every single person in your life is here to play a very specific role – as you are in their lives – and just because someone plays a supposed “negative” role in your life (in other words, annoys the crap out of you) doesn't mean that they will be playing that role in another person's life. So, try to grasp the idea that just because you dislike, disapprove, distrust a particular person, it doesn't always follow that they are a dislikeable, disrespectful, untrustworthy influence in someone else's life...even if that someone else is someone you are very close to. You've just got to accept that, for now at least, if they are a part of that person's life, then there's a reason – you might never know what that reason is because these are their lessons, their stuff and you've got no right to interfere. You've just got to let them get on with it.
Equally, you should never feel bad or guilty or pressured into tolerating someone in your life that you know is a negative or harmful influence to you. Your intuition and your emotions are the only things you can rely on here – not other people's opinions – and if you strongly sense that you are being affected in a bad way, or that a particular person/set of people are no longer in harmony with your current beliefs and intentions, then the gentlest way forward is to, quite simply, make them invisible to you!! Here's how...
First of all, it's important to take some quiet time, preferably meditate on the situation as whilst emotions are key to opening us up to how we truly feel, the problem with them is that they can get a bit carried away with themselves and get all out of control in our heads if we don't pay attention. So, sit quietly, accept your feelings and emotions and then ask for guidance...from whoever feels right to you; God/dess, the Tao, Spirit, the Universe, the Angels, the Faeries, the Source of All That Is...whoever. State your intention that, if it is truly for the greater good of all concerned, such-and-such a person(s) be released with love and gratitude from your life. This proviso of only if it is truly for the greater good of all concerned is hugely important, just in case you have let your emotions run amock and made some judgemental mountain out of a molehill rash decision that you will come to regret later.
I've used this technique a lot and it really is very powerful. There have been a couple of occasions when the people involved remained dominant in my life and I had to accept that it was my ego lashing out in a kind of how dare you tantrum over what turned out to be something and nothing, and I'm glad that we could find a resolution. However, on the times when certain people clearly were having a toxic effect on my life and were not to be trusted, it was almost as though Spirit had been waiting for the call. Immediately, these people vanished from my life. Poof. Gone. Obviously, they are still around living their lives, but I quite literally never see them. Now, this is a small island and I even live in the same town as some of my vanishees so you would expect the occasional “bumping into” wouldn't you? But no. Not even once.
So when this happens, you know without a doubt that you are on track. You just have to trust the process; if they stick around, there is a positive reason for that, if they disappear then that was the most positive outcome for all of you at that time.
But what is important to stress here...and I mentioned this earlier...is that this in no way means that these people are inherently “bad” - they just no longer play a positive part in your life, and they need to be released in order to make room for new people coming in who are more in alignment with you. So, don't view this technique as an “up yours” vengeful type of exercise because it's not. Be grateful for it, and be grateful for the people you've released.
And no matter what they've “done” to you, or however much they've upset you in the past, once this gentle release is activated, in order to keep it going, and to keep you protected from those energies you no longer choose to attract into your life, practice sending love and forgiveness to them on a regular basis. We're talking here forgiveness in the true sense of the word; not just letting people off the hook, or turning a blind eye to damaging behaviour, or tolerating abuse and disrespect from others because it's the easy option, or out of some misguided sense of duty. No, true forgiveness comes from the heart and releases you from negative patterns as well as those you are forgiving.
Remember, we're all one consciousness at the end of the day – it's just sometimes the human elements can clash – but it's all for a reason...if only to learn this technique and thus connect you closer to the Tao that guides and protects you always...and to remind you that whenever you need help with anything, all you need to do is ask and miracles and vanishing acts are just around the corner!
;)
Well, it's safe to say that since my last blog, I've been challenged to put my money where my mouth is.
Just eight days after my last post, our beautiful ginger cat, Mishka, died suddenly and unexpectedly. She was just a few days away from her seventh birthday.
Now, what was it I was saying about “no matter how sad, upsetting or 'bad' things are, there is always a reason” and to always “trust in the process, even in the darkest of days...”? Well, you know what, boys and girls? It turns out this is absolutely true!
These have definitely been dark days; nobody could have loved a cat more than I loved Mishka, and I was completely distraught and devastated...as I still am. But through all the tears and the trauma, I really have been keeping the faith...or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the universe has kept giving me little nudges and reminders that there were still blessings abounding. We'd been given the gift of Bez, our little kitten, just ten days before Mishka died and with a kitten in the house, it's virtually impossible to be sad all the time...he is a true spirit-raiser and the way that our other cat, Bethany, is slowly getting used to him and starting to play with him, has also been a joyful distraction.
I have suspected this for some time, but now am in absolutely no doubt that gratitude is the key to everything. I mean, come on, I'd had the blessing of living with Mishka for nearly seven years, of living with Tez for sixteen years (not to mention the other lovely cats we've loved and lost), and I've still got two gorgeous kitties to share my life with now...that's not all that shabby, is it?
Coincidentally, just a few days before Mishka died, we were watching the late George Carlin do a stand-up show and in it, he talks about the pets that he had lived with over the years. He points out that it's heartbreaking when you lose them, but you've got to expect this when you get a pet. He calls it a mini-tragedy...unless you are an eighty-year old buying a tortoise, the chances are you will outlive your pet.
It's funnier on stage, trust me!! But it's true, it is a mini-tragedy, with the emphasis on mini. I'm still very tearful and upset about Mishka, but when I think of the years of unconditional love, trust and happiness we shared, then I know it was worth it. The fact is, when we love somebody so much, then we make ourselves vulnerable to loss and grief, but remember...there is absolutely no pain that is not balanced by the greater joy of that love.
So, thank you, Mishka – thank you for sharing your life with me, and thank you for all these lessons. Love you always, ginger girl.
Namaste.
My first kitty tale is about Tez, who after the death of his older brother, Rez, a couple of years ago, became hubby's and my 'son number one'. He rose to the challenge perfectly, keeping his two younger sisters in order, yet never seeming to mind when they shoved him out of his dish so that they could eat his food. He'd just sit patiently while they quaffed the lot, knowing fine well that me or hubby would fill it up for him once they'd finished...and that he'd be the one to get the tuna treat on top, just for being such a good big brother!
On 19th February, Tez went out for a stroll in the forest, and he never came back. He was sixteen years old, which is the equivalent of an eighty year old person, and he'd been uncharacteristically poorly just a few weeks before, which had necessitated a full week of trips to the vet. Whilst we tried to stay positive and hopeful, and were out searching for him day after day, both hubby and I knew – within hours of him not returning – that he'd sensed it was his “time” and had taken himself off somewhere peaceful to drift into his forever sleep...as cats are prone to do. I can't even begin to describe how devastated we were, and to be honest, I don't even want to try, I mean we'd had Tez since he was a kitten so we had literally lost a family member, and an absolutely adored one at that. But still, in the midst of all the upset and tears, there was some light; we'd never had to watch Tez suffer in his old age, or be faced with having to make that heartbreaking decision about whether to put him to sleep...no, Tez had spared us (and himself) all of that and had quit peacefully while he was ahead. If that's not a blessing, or a gift, then I don't know what is.
Still, the fact remained...we missed him more than we could ever say. The whole energy of the house changed and we began to realise what “big” energy Tez had. Even his two sisters seemed to notice he'd gone and both seemed glum and sad, so after a few weeks, we began to wonder about getting another boy cat. We both had some reservations – it wasn't like we were looking for a replacement for Tez (nobody could do that anyway) – but there was still a bit of a sense of guilt and disloyalty. Was it the right thing to do? One minute we thought yes, the next, no, so we decided the only sensible thing to do was to hand it over to the universe, or the Tao, to sort it out for us. If a new kitten was meant to come into our lives, then he would be guided to us, or we'd be guided to him. Simple.
So, another couple of weeks passed and we were round at our friends' apartment one Sunday afternoon. For some reason, at about half-past six, I suddenly had the urge to leave. We were having a lovely time, but I just couldn't shake the sense that it was time to go. As we were walking through the grounds on our way back to the car, we spotted two beautiful black cats so, of course, we immediately went over to fuss and play with them. Suddenly, a voice called out, “do you want one?” We hadn't noticed the lady sitting on the wall and I think we both just gawped in answer to her unexpected question. She went on to explain that these two black cats had just had a litter of kittens together – there were five of them, she was keeping two herself, had found a home for two of the others, there was just one left that still needed a home. A boy.
It was one of those moments when you can actually feel fate play its hand, and even before we went to see him, we both knew that this was the kitten for us. Two weeks later, when he was ready to be separated from his mum, we went to pick him up and herein commences kitty tale number two!
We got our tiny little, jet black kitten home and puzzled and pondered. What on earth were we going to call him? I wanted his name to somehow honour Rez and Tez, and my first idea was Artie...which was actually the letters R & T...clever, eh? I can tell you're impressed! But, as we got to know him, it became clear he just wasn't an Artie or an RT, so it was back to the drawing board. Then it struck us that his name should have some connection to Ibiza, since he is a genuine Ibicenco cat, and as soon as that idea hit home, I heard his name in my head. “Bez” I yelled to Mike, who just grinned and said, “yes, of course.” Bez is the Phoenician God of Dance who, according to legend, led all the poisonous animals off Ibiza, and our little kitty definitely suited the name.
It wasn't until later that we realised we had, in fact, honoured his two big brothers with his name...Rez, Tez & Bez! And there's more...I went to google Bez and discovered that it is actually spelt Bes (Bez being the dancer in the Happy Mondays!) Now, rewinding back a few years, we had another gorgeous boy cat who was the twin of Bethany, one of the girls who still lives with us. Bear with me, I promise this is relevant and it will all make sense. This little guy had kidney problems and we had to have him put to sleep at a young age, which was horrendous. His name was Seb – which is Bes backwards. I've been in hysterics about all this – it's absolutely perfect – our new, little kitten is all of his older, departed brothers rolled into one!!
So, now even when little Bez is clambering up the curtains, trying to chew through leads, eating plants, kicking litter all over the kitchen, launching himself up my dressing gown, I am in absolutely no doubt that he is meant to be in our lives. Just as we requested, the universe guided us together in an astounding display of synchronicities. If we hadn't gone to our friends' apartment that Sunday, and left at the exact time we did, we might never have known he existed.
And, yes this might seem like a bit of a self-indulgent blog; here I am raving on about my kitty-cat family, but there is a reason I'm sharing all of this with you. For me, it's all been a powerful reminder that no matter what happens, no matter how sad, upsetting or “bad” things are, there is always a reason – there is a thread running through all our lives, connecting all the events, good and bad (and in fact, connecting all of us, but let's not go there right now!) - it's just that sometimes it takes a while before you see the purpose, the necessity, behind the so-called negative event or loss. But if you trust in the process, even in the darkest of days, if you are willing to let go and just know that you will be guided and that everything will be all right in the end, then it always will be. It always is anyway, there's no other way for things to work out, but you can make the whole thing smoother and easier on yourself and bring the light and positivity back into your life sooner. Keep the faith, trust the universe and trust your intuition. And be grateful...for everything.
Oh, and just one more little point that, again, made us feel that this was absolutely meant to be – Bez was born on 22nd February, just three days after Tez left.
Fate? I'd say so....wouldn't you?
