Healing & light from the White Isle

Announcement!!

2011-10-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone :)

I just want to let you all know that I am now going to be blogging from my new website http://faeryforestmagic.weebly.com/

Do pop along and have a look at the site, and I'd be interested in any feedback as it is my first website so all completely new to me!!

Thank you for all the follows, support and comments on this blog...I look forward to seeing you all over at my new place :)

With love & blessings,

Jinny

The Big I Am

2011-08-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

For most of my adult life, I've always gone along with the belief that We are spiritual beings having a human experience, rather than the other way around, but recently I've begun to see that this could, actually, be a bit of an understatement.

My tendency was to think that my physical body housed my spirit, and that when I was ready to leave the planet and this life experience, I would drop the body, and the spirit would...well, I wasn't too sure exactly what the spirit would do at that point, to be honest, but I knew it would be something darned spiritual.

Recently, though, I've come to the understanding that although, yes, our bodies are the vehicles our spirits or souls inhabit in order to have this human experience...whilst we are here, we are still actually in spirit at the same time. It is not a case of us being released back to the Source when we die – there is an element of us that has always remained there while we have been off doing our physical thing.

You're all probably reading this, thinking 'yeah, Jin, tell us something we don't know,” and if that's the case, then please excuse me, but it hit me like a sledge-hammer the other day and now, here I am, finding myself sitting here writing about it.

I like to call this non-physical part of me The Big I Am, firstly because it is WAY bigger than the little physical me, and secondly because it makes me smile and The Big I Am seems to like smiles much more than tears or anger.

The Big I Am is on your side one hundred percent, s/he loves you unconditionally no matter what. From The Big I Am's all-embracing perspective (as opposed to our limited 3-D one), everything is perfect; your life is perfect and you are perfect. Your life might feel to be confusing, or in a mess, but rest assured, The Big I Am sees the whole picture and will be trying to reassure you and steer you in the right direction at all times.

You might be beating yourself up for something 'unforgivable' that you have done, you may be struggling to like yourself because of your very human-ness which in itself means that we are not perfect or filled with grace all of the time - sometimes we get it 'wrong' - but The Big I Am sees all this, blesses it and releases it so that you can, if you wish, learn and move on.

Other people may be pushing you to your very limits with their demands, their hurtfulness, even their hate...The Big I Am is whispering encouragement to you to protect or remove yourself from harmful people and situations, you deserve better and you are worthy of love. Always.

Above all, whatever is going on in your life, no matter how bad it seems, or how badly people seem to be treating you, or how badly you think you've screwed things up, The Big I Am never gives up on you and once you tune into that knowing, and really feel the truth of it, then neither will you.

So, if this is all old news to you, and I'm a bit slow off the mark here, then perhaps the reason I've been so compelled to write this is not to tell you something you already know, but just to remind you. The Big I Am is there with you always, and all you need to do – especially if you are in an upsetting or seemingly impossible situation – is to throw a quick glance over your shoulder (I always use my left one for some reason) and ask to be aligned with your non-physical self.

I can't say exactly how it will work out for you, but I'm willing to wager a small bet that by consciously connecting in this way, by allowing the unconditional love and grace of the The Big I am to flow through you, you will suddenly have the subtle knowing that, hey, everything's all right and there's nothing you can't handle...which is the most empowering feeling in the world and, I'd go so far as to say, perhaps the only thing that really matters at the end of the day.

And that's really pretty much all there is to it...simple and obvious...yet an awakening that when it comes, ensures that life can never be the same again because you can never be a victim and there is nothing that you can't handle.

Bring it on!

Namaste.

Soul Pets

2011-07-27T04:22:00.000-07:00

I've given a lot of animals a lot of Reiki over the years, and I've had some amazing experiences, but it's safe to say that the most bonkers one happened just recently when I was asked to Reiki the dog of a friend of a friend.

I'm going to change the names here to protect identities, so let's say the dog's name is Maya, her owner is Leanne and my friend is Susan.

Maya is one of the most unique and beautiful dogs I have ever met, and Leanne was worried that there was something wrong with her back or her spine, as she seemed to be throwing her leg out when she walked and sometimes struggled to run. There had even been a few occasions when she had seemed unable to stand up by herself, and Leanne had had to help her to her feet. She'd been to the vets numerous times, and had even tried a few alternative therapies, but nothing worked and the vet couldn't find anything wrong with the dog.

Even though I'd gone to the house to visit, this turned into a distance healing, as Maya got fed up of my hands on her after about ten minutes and took herself off to bed! I just stayed where I was and meditated, sending her healing and trying to tune into her. And it was just really weird, because I wasn't getting any sense of anything; I don't diagnose problems with pets, but I can usually pick up on something – a blockage or imbalance, or sometimes a sense of what is troubling them – but with Maya, there was nothing. She seemed perfectly comfortable and happy, almost a bit bemused as to why I was there in the first place

So, this should be a good thing, right? Well, actually no! After the session I was at a bit of a loss as to what to say to Leanne as when we had been discussing all her previous treatments, she was clearly disappointed that no-one could shine any light on what was wrong with Maya, and felt that none of the others – including the vet – knew what they were doing as their treatments hadn't “worked”. And now, here I was, having to tell her the self-same thing...eeek!!! I put it as tactfully as I could, telling her that Maya was obviously very happy in her life and that I wasn't picking up on anything sinister...perhaps she would find this would turn out to be one of those freakish things that righted itself in time.

I could tell she wasn't convinced, or satisfied with my feedback (something re-affirmed by my friend Susan who told me that when she'd asked Leanne about the Reiki, she'd just huffed that all I'd said was that Maya was happy, and of course she's not happy, is she?) but, hey, what could I do? This was what I'd felt and I wasn't going to start lying or making stuff up.

So, I tried to just put it down to experience; one of the things you have to expect from time to time if you're a healer...not every session is going to be one hundred percent positive and sometimes there is going to be resistance...and that could be for a whole host of reasons and issues...no need to take it personally. Still, it kind of bugged and puzzled me more than I would have liked or expected, but then yesterday, I met up with Susan and it all suddenly made sense.

She told me that Leanne had recently undergone several days' worth of intense and very intrusive tests because...she didn't know exactly why, but she was convinced that something serious was wrong with her. She had been utterly disbelieving when every result came back all-clear and there was nothing amiss.

Bingo!

Leanne had been projecting her fears and conviction that something was “wrong” onto Maya, who had taken it all on board herself and played her role to perfection.

I thought it was worth writing about this as it is a great reminder as to just how sensitive and wise our pets really are. I'm guessing anyone with a much-loved animal companion has had the experience of that pet sensing when they are ill or upset and trying in their own way to comfort them – we all know that pets can sense our moods – this is not a groundbreaking revelation I know! But what this shows is that it goes deeper than we perhaps realise. As human beings who are aware that we are affected by other people's energy, we can consciously put protection around ourselves if we are in the presence of somebody who is negative, nasty or just not in harmony with us...but animals can't do that.

So, it's our responsibility, as loving pet-owners, to make sure we don't unconsciously project our “stuff” onto our furry friends. Maybe try visualising golden light surrounding your pet and affirm silently (or out loud if the fancy takes you) to the universe that your pet is now protected from all unwanted, inappropriate, negative or damaging energies. Or ask the angels or faeries to keep your pet safe from harmful thought-forms. Or simply sit and tell your pet that, from now on, this is the new arrangement...he or she will now only ever be affected by good, positive, loving energy. There's no right or wrong way to do this, you're the one with the close relationship to your pet, so you do whatever feels right for you.

The main thing is the insight here, the understanding that this can happen and, armed with that knowledge, you can state your intention in whatever way you want that your pet or pets are now safe and protected from it.

Fascinating stuff, eh? And just serves to remind me why I love working with animals so much – they truly are amazing souls.

If anyone would like me to send distance Reiki to your pet or pets, please let me know. Details of how it all works can be found on the right hand column of my other blog, http://faeryforestmagic.blogspot.com/ :)

Vanishing Act

2011-07-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, a very dear friend of mine announced her intention to practice making herself invisible during meditation.

Fair enough, we both had a bit of a giggle and a banter about this, but at the same time, understanding that we are all just energy condensed to a slow vibration – which gives us the illusion of appearing solid - we were willing to go along with the idea that with some practice and focused, conscious intent, “fading ourselves out around the edges” so to speak, and becoming less noticeable to those around us was not only possible, but also quite a neat and handy trick. My husband swears that, as a small boy, he put this to the test when he was on a bus but didn't have any money for his fare. This was way back in the days of bus conductors (yes, we really are that old!) and as the scary man in the peaked hat with his money satchel & ticket machine criss-crossed over his chest made his way through the bus, Mike prayed and prayed to be invisible. The conductor simply walked past him.

So, all this talk about invisibility got me to thinking, and I realised that this was, in fact (amongst many others), one of the wonderful lessons Ibiza has been trying to teach me. Invisibility really is possible – not only is it possible to make ourselves invisible, but we can also make those people who are no longer serving a positive purpose in our lives, invisible to us.

As I've stated on countless occasions in this blog, living on Ibiza has been an eye-opening experience to say the least, and the lessons and new understandings I've been blessed with – whilst tough at times – have been invaluable and I wouldn't have missed out on a single one. And this particular one feels like an important one for me to be sharing with you all today.

Our relationships and interactions with other people are about the most complex thing we have to deal with whilst on the planet. No two relationships are the same, no two sets of feelings are the same – in short, we are completely on our own when it comes to us and our feelings about our relationships. Even the other person or people involved don't really know how we feel about them; it is absolutely 100% within us and nobody else can possibly be in there, experiencing our feelings with us.

Which is why things get so confusing when, for some reason, we don't resonate with someone (or suddenly stop resonating with someone), yet, other people we love and respect have no problem with them. We might even start to feel guilty – especially if others are telling us we “should” make an effort and like this particular person (and this happens more intensely when it's disharmony within the family). And when guilt kicks in, well, that's guaranteed to create an even messier situation because guilt loves to lash out, point the finger and prove itself right over and over again in order to justify its own existence. Then the whole thing escalates and gets completely out of control.

This has happened a number of times in my life since I moved to Ibiza and began being compelled to think things out for myself and make my own decisions, rather than just blindly conforming to inherited beliefs and behaviours. It's taken me a bit of time to get used to this new liberating way of being – it's flipping scary and hard work standing out against the majority, or those you genuinely care for but have a difference of opinion with. So, if you have a similar situation going on in your life, or if you've read so far and think you might as well continue, here's my take on the whole thing.

Every single person in your life is here to play a very specific role – as you are in their lives – and just because someone plays a supposed “negative” role in your life (in other words, annoys the crap out of you) doesn't mean that they will be playing that role in another person's life. So, try to grasp the idea that just because you dislike, disapprove, distrust a particular person, it doesn't always follow that they are a dislikeable, disrespectful, untrustworthy influence in someone else's life...even if that someone else is someone you are very close to. You've just got to accept that, for now at least, if they are a part of that person's life, then there's a reason – you might never know what that reason is because these are their lessons, their stuff and you've got no right to interfere. You've just got to let them get on with it.

Equally, you should never feel bad or guilty or pressured into tolerating someone in your life that you know is a negative or harmful influence to you. Your intuition and your emotions are the only things you can rely on here – not other people's opinions – and if you strongly sense that you are being affected in a bad way, or that a particular person/set of people are no longer in harmony with your current beliefs and intentions, then the gentlest way forward is to, quite simply, make them invisible to you!! Here's how...

First of all, it's important to take some quiet time, preferably meditate on the situation as whilst emotions are key to opening us up to how we truly feel, the problem with them is that they can get a bit carried away with themselves and get all out of control in our heads if we don't pay attention. So, sit quietly, accept your feelings and emotions and then ask for guidance...from whoever feels right to you; God/dess, the Tao, Spirit, the Universe, the Angels, the Faeries, the Source of All That Is...whoever. State your intention that, if it is truly for the greater good of all concerned, such-and-such a person(s) be released with love and gratitude from your life. This proviso of only if it is truly for the greater good of all concerned is hugely important, just in case you have let your emotions run amock and made some judgemental mountain out of a molehill rash decision that you will come to regret later.

I've used this technique a lot and it really is very powerful. There have been a couple of occasions when the people involved remained dominant in my life and I had to accept that it was my ego lashing out in a kind of how dare you tantrum over what turned out to be something and nothing, and I'm glad that we could find a resolution. However, on the times when certain people clearly were having a toxic effect on my life and were not to be trusted, it was almost as though Spirit had been waiting for the call. Immediately, these people vanished from my life. Poof. Gone. Obviously, they are still around living their lives, but I quite literally never see them. Now, this is a small island and I even live in the same town as some of my vanishees so you would expect the occasional “bumping into” wouldn't you? But no. Not even once.

So when this happens, you know without a doubt that you are on track. You just have to trust the process; if they stick around, there is a positive reason for that, if they disappear then that was the most positive outcome for all of you at that time.

But what is important to stress here...and I mentioned this earlier...is that this in no way means that these people are inherently “bad” - they just no longer play a positive part in your life, and they need to be released in order to make room for new people coming in who are more in alignment with you. So, don't view this technique as an “up yours” vengeful type of exercise because it's not. Be grateful for it, and be grateful for the people you've released.

And no matter what they've “done” to you, or however much they've upset you in the past, once this gentle release is activated, in order to keep it going, and to keep you protected from those energies you no longer choose to attract into your life, practice sending love and forgiveness to them on a regular basis. We're talking here forgiveness in the true sense of the word; not just letting people off the hook, or turning a blind eye to damaging behaviour, or tolerating abuse and disrespect from others because it's the easy option, or out of some misguided sense of duty. No, true forgiveness comes from the heart and releases you from negative patterns as well as those you are forgiving.

Remember, we're all one consciousness at the end of the day – it's just sometimes the human elements can clash – but it's all for a reason...if only to learn this technique and thus connect you closer to the Tao that guides and protects you always...and to remind you that whenever you need help with anything, all you need to do is ask and miracles and vanishing acts are just around the corner!

;)

And The Saga Continues...

2011-05-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so ready for another dose of kitty-cat magic and bonkers coincidences? If so, you're in the right place!

As most of you know (and if you don't, have a quick read of my last 2 posts) our darling Mishka died almost two weeks ago, just a couple of months after our gorgeous Tez passed away, and once again, Mike and I found ourselves wondering what to do for the best with regards getting another kitten. Ten-week-old Bez's hyper giddiness and his determination to be best friends forever and play all day long with his 10 year old sister, Bethany, was not going down at all well with her, so we thought that another kitten might be a good playmate for Bez, and would let Bethany off the hook somewhat. Still, we were hesitant...would it upset Bethany even more if she suddenly had yet another kitten to contend with? After all, the poor little sweetheart had gone through so much just recently...losing two brothers and a sister with whom she had lived for most of her life, in the space of two years. We had no idea what to do, so took the only sensible course of action and handed the whole situation over to the Tao to sort out. If it was meant to be, we trusted we would be given a sign, or that a kitten would somehow just find us.

I was discussing all this on Wednesday with my lovely friend, Alison and her equally lovely mum. Alison is as besotted with cats as I am, and shares her home with six of them, one of whom has been poorly for the last couple of weeks, so Alison had made an appointment to take her to the vets on Friday morning...and that appointment ended up completely changing my life!

Alison rang me from the vets to tell me that the vet herself had found an abandoned kitten who now needed a home. He was a gorgeous, tiny tabby and was probably only five or six weeks old. Hmmm...was I saying something about being given a sign? It really couldn't have been any clearer, could it?

Needless to say, Mike and I didn't hesitate and Alison brought him to us straight from the vets. To say we fell instantly in love with him would be an understatement, but our feelings for him paled into insignificance compared to Bez's. He was over the moon to see his baby brother (who we named Chomsky) and immediately pulled the tiny tot to him to give him a bath. It was like he'd been waiting for him, and they'd known each other for ever...which perhaps they have! They are inseparable and, as I write this, they're cuddled up together on the sofa fast asleep. The jury is still out on Bethany - she is having nothing to do with such silly kitten behaviour, but there has been no hissing and she definitely seems happier in herself.

So, yet again, I am bowled over at the sheer magic of it all; if I hadn't had that very conversation with Alison two days before, and if her beautiful cat, Aura, hadn't been off-colour and needed to go to the very vet who happened to find an abandoned kitten (strangely, right outside our favourite restaurant here on Ibiza where Mike and I had planned to have lunch with a friend the same day as Chomsky was found, but didn't because our friend had to cancel at the last minute), then we would never have even known of his existence. And more to the point, if Mishka hadn't left us when she did, there would be no way that Chomsky would be in our lives right now.

It's like everything was just shunted into place in a way we could never have orchestrated, which leaves me in no doubt that all of this - the heartbreak and the joy - was all absolutely meant to be and reiterates the belief I expressed in my earlier blogs... that no matter what happens, no matter how "bad" things seem at the time, there is always a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. Fact.

And if this isn't proof of it, I don't know what is. Believe me, whatever is going on in your life, it's all unfolding perfectly, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Trust that and keep the faith.

Always.

Be ready for miracles...they are on their way :)

A Mini Tragedy?

2011-05-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's safe to say that since my last blog, I've been challenged to put my money where my mouth is.

Just eight days after my last post, our beautiful ginger cat, Mishka, died suddenly and unexpectedly. She was just a few days away from her seventh birthday.

Now, what was it I was saying about “no matter how sad, upsetting or 'bad' things are, there is always a reason” and to always “trust in the process, even in the darkest of days...”? Well, you know what, boys and girls? It turns out this is absolutely true!

These have definitely been dark days; nobody could have loved a cat more than I loved Mishka, and I was completely distraught and devastated...as I still am. But through all the tears and the trauma, I really have been keeping the faith...or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the universe has kept giving me little nudges and reminders that there were still blessings abounding. We'd been given the gift of Bez, our little kitten, just ten days before Mishka died and with a kitten in the house, it's virtually impossible to be sad all the time...he is a true spirit-raiser and the way that our other cat, Bethany, is slowly getting used to him and starting to play with him, has also been a joyful distraction.

I have suspected this for some time, but now am in absolutely no doubt that gratitude is the key to everything. I mean, come on, I'd had the blessing of living with Mishka for nearly seven years, of living with Tez for sixteen years (not to mention the other lovely cats we've loved and lost), and I've still got two gorgeous kitties to share my life with now...that's not all that shabby, is it?

Coincidentally, just a few days before Mishka died, we were watching the late George Carlin do a stand-up show and in it, he talks about the pets that he had lived with over the years. He points out that it's heartbreaking when you lose them, but you've got to expect this when you get a pet. He calls it a mini-tragedy...unless you are an eighty-year old buying a tortoise, the chances are you will outlive your pet.

It's funnier on stage, trust me!! But it's true, it is a mini-tragedy, with the emphasis on mini. I'm still very tearful and upset about Mishka, but when I think of the years of unconditional love, trust and happiness we shared, then I know it was worth it. The fact is, when we love somebody so much, then we make ourselves vulnerable to loss and grief, but remember...there is absolutely no pain that is not balanced by the greater joy of that love.

So, thank you, Mishka – thank you for sharing your life with me, and thank you for all these lessons. Love you always, ginger girl.

Namaste.

A Tale of Two Kitties

2011-04-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, to be honest, it's a tale of more

than two kitties, but I couldn't

resist the title!

Once again, the universe has been amazing me with its expertise and attention to detail when it comes to timing things to perfection, bringing the right people together, slotting all the pieces into place, and generally just churning out coincidence after coincidence, synchronicity after synchronicity, like some cosmic, magical production line.

My first kitty tale is about Tez, who after the death of his older brother, Rez, a couple of years ago, became hubby's and my 'son number one'. He rose to the challenge perfectly, keeping his two younger sisters in order, yet never seeming to mind when they shoved him out of his dish so that they could eat his food. He'd just sit patiently while they quaffed the lot, knowing fine well that me or hubby would fill it up for him once they'd finished...and that he'd be the one to get the tuna treat on top, just for being such a good big brother!

On 19^th February, Tez went out for a stroll in the forest, and he never came back. He was sixteen years old, which is the equivalent of an eighty year old person, and he'd been uncharacteristically poorly just a few weeks before, which had necessitated a full week of trips to the vet. Whilst we tried to stay positive and hopeful, and were out searching for him day after day, both hubby and I knew – within hours of him not returning – that he'd sensed it was his “time” and had taken himself off somewhere peaceful to drift into his forever sleep...as cats are prone to do. I can't even begin to describe how devastated we were, and to be honest, I don't even want to try, I mean we'd had Tez since he was a kitten so we had literally lost a family member, and an absolutely adored one at that. But still, in the midst of all the upset and tears, there was some light; we'd never had to watch Tez suffer in his old age, or be faced with having to make that heartbreaking decision about whether to put him to sleep...no, Tez had spared us (and himself) all of that and had quit peacefully while he was ahead. If that's not a blessing, or a gift, then I don't know what is.

Still, the fact remained...we missed him more than we could ever say. The whole energy of the house changed and we began to realise what “big” energy Tez had. Even his two sisters seemed to notice he'd gone and both seemed glum and sad, so after a few weeks, we began to wonder about getting another boy cat. We both had some reservations – it wasn't like we were looking for a replacement for Tez (nobody could do that anyway) – but there was still a bit of a sense of guilt and disloyalty. Was it the right thing to do? One minute we thought yes, the next, no, so we decided the only sensible thing to do was to hand it over to the universe, or the Tao, to sort it out for us. If a new kitten was meant to come into our lives, then he would be guided to us, or we'd be guided to him. Simple.

So, another couple of weeks passed and we were round at our friends' apartment one Sunday afternoon. For some reason, at about half-past six, I suddenly had the urge to leave. We were having a lovely time, but I just couldn't shake the sense that it was time to go. As we were walking through the grounds on our way back to the car, we spotted two beautiful black cats so, of course, we immediately went over to fuss and play with them. Suddenly, a voice called out, “do you want one?” We hadn't noticed the lady sitting on the wall and I think we both just gawped in answer to her unexpected question. She went on to explain that these two black cats had just had a litter of kittens together – there were five of them, she was keeping two herself, had found a home for two of the others, there was just one left that still needed a home. A boy.

It was one of those moments when you can actually feel fate play its hand, and even before we went to see him, we both knew that this was the kitten for us. Two weeks later, when he was ready to be separated from his mum, we went to pick him up and herein commences kitty tale number two!

We got our tiny little, jet black kitten home and puzzled and pondered. What on earth were we going to call him? I wanted his name to somehow honour Rez and Tez, and my first idea was Artie...which was actually the letters R & T...clever, eh? I can tell you're impressed! But, as we got to know him, it became clear he just wasn't an Artie or an RT, so it was back to the drawing board. Then it struck us that his name should have some connection to Ibiza, since he is a genuine Ibicenco cat, and as soon as that idea hit home, I heard his name in my head. “Bez” I yelled to Mike, who just grinned and said, “yes, of course.” Bez is the Phoenician God of Dance who, according to legend, led all the poisonous animals off Ibiza, and our little kitty definitely suited the name.

It wasn't until later that we realised we had, in fact, honoured his two big brothers with his name...Rez, Tez & Bez! And there's more...I went to google Bez and discovered that it is actually spelt Bes (Bez being the dancer in the Happy Mondays!) Now, rewinding back a few years, we had another gorgeous boy cat who was the twin of Bethany, one of the girls who still lives with us. Bear with me, I promise this is relevant and it will all make sense. This little guy had kidney problems and we had to have him put to sleep at a young age, which was horrendous. His name was Seb – which is Bes backwards. I've been in hysterics about all this – it's absolutely perfect – our new, little kitten is all of his older, departed brothers rolled into one!!

So, now even when little Bez is clambering up the curtains, trying to chew through leads, eating plants, kicking litter all over the kitchen, launching himself up my dressing gown, I am in absolutely no doubt that he is meant to be in our lives. Just as we requested, the universe guided us together in an astounding display of synchronicities. If we hadn't gone to our friends' apartment that Sunday, and left at the exact time we did, we might never have known he existed.

And, yes this might seem like a bit of a self-indulgent blog; here I am raving on about my kitty-cat family, but there is a reason I'm sharing all of this with you. For me, it's all been a powerful reminder that no matter what happens, no matter how sad, upsetting or “bad” things are, there is always a reason – there is a thread running through all our lives, connecting all the events, good and bad (and in fact, connecting all of us, but let's not go there right now!) - it's just that sometimes it takes a while before you see the purpose, the necessity, behind the so-called negative event or loss. But if you trust in the process, even in the darkest of days, if you are willing to let go and just know that you will be guided and that everything will be all right in the end, then it always will be. It always is anyway, there's no other way for things to work out, but you can make the whole thing smoother and easier on yourself and bring the light and positivity back into your life sooner. Keep the faith, trust the universe and trust your intuition. And be grateful...for everything.

Oh, and just one more little point that, again, made us feel that this was absolutely meant to be – Bez was born on 22^nd February, just three days after Tez left.

Fate? I'd say so....wouldn't you?

Visualisation and Quantum Attraction

2011-01-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

I suppose as it's been over four months since my last blog, I'd better have something darnned interesting to share with you. Well, as it happens, I jolly well do!

It has been an fascinating four months to put it mildly, filled with lessons and eye-opening experiences...all of them revolving around our house move. People say that moving house is one of the most stressful experiences you can have, but for us, it was pre-moving house that was causing the stress. Let me explain...

We last moved house almost two years ago, and within a very short space of time, it became clear that the house we had thought was ideal for us, was in fact, to put it politely...an absolute dump. That well-respected company “Bodgit & Scarper” had obviously been employed to half-do every job - light-fittings were loose, kitchen cupboard doors were falling off the hinges, the water was brown much of the time and had a worryingly sulphur-like smell, the windows didn't fit properly, the impressive-looking open-fire place did nothing but fill the house with rancid smoke and the telephone line & broadband that the agent assured us had been enjoyed by the last tenant turned out to be unavailable in our particular area. Worse still, our beloved oldest cat, Reznor, was knocked down right outside the house within a month of us moving in. A sign? Definitely, but even though more and more things started conking out in the house as the months passed, and we were dismayed to see the undeniable signs of construction work about to begin in the field right next to our house, we were undeterred. We had a plan.

After struggling along for a full year so as not to default on the one-year contract we had signed, last February, we helped some friends of ours move into their new place. Immediately, hubby and I fell in love with their house...it was well-maintained, nicely-furnished, had a phone line plus broadband and was situated in a beautiful location. We ranted and raved and told our friends over and over how lucky they were to have found such a spot. After just a few weeks, they confessed to us that, whilst they liked their new house, they were planning to go travelling later in the year, probably in November, then to rent somewhere else on the island when they returned. They appreciated that we were keen to move out of our house as soon as ever possible, but if we were willing to hold fire for a few months, would we be interested in taking over their rental contract when they left, which would mean that we would have our dream home on Ibiza, and they would not be reneging on their one-year contract, thus losing their security deposit? Would we? Yes, of course!! It was the perfect solution for all of us.

For the next few months, we tolerated new, noisy neighbours with kids whose toys started to litter the street, and whose dogs chased our cats. We tolerated the fact that our washing machine filled with water when not in use, yet not a drop was to be seen when on a cycle. Even the water tank exploding and turning downstairs into a murky-looking swimming pool didn't bother us that much. We would be handing in our month's notice at the end of October at the latest and we were counting the days.

Then things took a bit of a turn.

October arrived and we kept asking our friends when they wanted to meet up with their landlord to make sure it was all right with him for us to move in. Intuition started to whisper that something was wrong, along with common sense when they clearly avoided the subject over and over. Eventually, two weeks before we were due to hand in our notice, they dropped the bombshell that their plans had changed...they hoped we would understand, but they were no longer going travelling. Really sorry and all that.

I would like to say, at this point, that we took this in our stride; we hugged them, told them it was fine, not to worry, these things happen. I'd like to say that, but it would be a lie. We fumed, we cursed...hey, we're only human, and the fact remained that we could have found somewhere else and been out of the hell-hole we were living in months before. And now we had only two weeks to find a new home and hand in our month's notice so that we didn't have to spend another Christmas in our old place. However, I can say that these negative emotions were short-lived and we soon came to terms with our situation, realising that – as with all things in life – this had to have happened for a reason, and we began to take positive action. I focused on handing this over to the Tao to manifest the next perfect home for us, and hubby trawled the internet, looking for somewhere and just over a week later, we made an appointment to view a property which, to cut a long story short, is where we are now living...and it truly is our perfect home.

So, all's well that ends well...a nice story, but there's more to it than that, and this is the reason I decided to blog about it. Believe it or not, our new home is less than a five minute drive from our friends' house. It's a similar kind of property which has all of the attributes that made their house so appealing to us in the first place, and at the risk of sounding like I'm gloating (Who? Me? Perish the thought!), quite a few more besides.

Funny how things turn out, isn't it? All those months that, in our initial anger and disappointment, we thought we had wasted waiting for our friends to move, had actually been put to the best possible use, as we had been doing nothing less than visualising ourselves living in this beautiful part of northern Ibiza, in a lovely, comfortable home. And because we didn't waste too much time and energy feeling angry, resentful or self-pitying, those visualisations manifested into something way better than we had been expecting.

And just as another nice, little sign to show us we're on track and in the right place...our old house was in a place called Can Guasch in Santa Eulalia. Our new landlady's name is Eulalia Guasch. Oh, Tao, you do crack me up sometimes!!!

Wishing you all the miracles and magic from the Tao that you truly deserve.

Namaste.

Wheelie-Bin Cruelty

2010-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

It´s an absolutely horrific news story – the one about the woman in the UK who deliberately chucked a cat into a wheelie-bin - and I´m guessing most of you will have read or heard about it by now, but for those of you who haven´t, here´s what happened.

A middle-aged woman is caught on CCTV petting a tabby cat, then glancing around to make sure no-one is watching before grabbing her by the scruff of the neck, dumping her into a wheelie-bin, then walking away. The cat, Lola, was trapped in the bin for almost 16 hours before her owners finally heard her calls for help and it was their own security camera that caught the woman in the act. They posted the clip on Facebook and the woman was subsequently identified and is now under investigation by the RSPCA. Not surprisingly, the story has caused uproar to the degree that the woman has been receiving death threats and had to be put under police protection.

Like most rational, caring human beings, I was shocked and appalled at such a callous act when I read the on-line news report & watched the clip, but it was the deluge of readers´comments that really affected me and got me to thinking. These comments ranged from absolute hatred towards the woman, Mary Bale, to incredulity that there could be such a hoo-haa over “just a cat” when there is so much suffering going on elsewhere in the world. So many different points of view, but the thing they all had in common was a tone of anger, aggression, and an insistence that they were right and anyone else thinking differently was clearly deranged. So, let me ask you...what good has any of this done? Absolutely none...a negative situation has just been made worse by negative energy being directed at it.

Now, I´m not trying to be all holier-than-thou here, and I confess that the first word out of my mouth when I read the story was “bitch” (well, OK then...that was the second, the first began with an f and ended in ing!) and I was upset, angered even by comments such as “so what? The only good animal is one that´s on my plate.” I love all animals and am a vegetarian, so of course, I´m not going to understand that way of thinking. But then I realised what I was doing...beaming out negative energy and thoughts and that, believe me, is the most dangerous thing we can do.

Let´s face it, it´s ignorance that caused Bale to behave the way she did and to then justify it by saying it just seemed like a fun thing to do and she expected the cat would have been able to get herself out, and it´s ignorance that causes certain people to see nothing wrong in such an act. But ignorance, by its very nature, is never going to listen to reason – it´s an ignorant son-of-a-bitch at the end of the day – so us getting all het-up and shouting at these people will only cause them to shout back louder.

I´m not saying that they shouldn´t be held accountable for their actions, or that they shouldn´t be encouraged to live their lives in a less destructive and harmful manner – and if we can play a part in that then all well and good - but me shouting my mouth off in Ibiza, calling them all the names under the sun, is simply not going to serve any positive purpose. And that is what I believe is the most important thing to focus on. Serving a positive purpose.

What I´m suggesting is that living on a planet with almost 7 billion other people, there is always going to be someone doing something that we personally find offensive, evil even. Some of these stories will make the papers and be brought to our attention, but most of them won´t. As spiritual beings of light who genuinely care for our planet, who are concerned only with working for the higher good, it is our responsibility to ensure that our thoughts and actions are always love-based, and that we are contributing and serving as much as we possibly can – that way, maybe the positive can start to outweigh the negative.

We do not need to be dragged down to the level of rottenness displayed by the likes of Mary Bane and her supporters. We do not need to let their clearly joyless and destructive lives affect our own. If, instead of retaliating in anger to such stories, we make it our business to ensure that we do at least one hugely positive act of service, then their negative act is cancelled out.

For my part, I have decided to use this event to catapult me into action. For a while now, I have had the sense that I was guided to do my Reiki attunements in order to heal animals, but never actually acted on it. Well, now I am setting the wheels in motion to offer hands-on healing to animals and pets on the island, and distance healing to those further afield. You see, Mary Bale, you treat one cat with cruelty, and I´ll heal hundreds more! Game, set and match Love & Light!

And I´m convinced that the more of us doing this - focusing on positivity - the more powerful it will become. Love is the highest energy there is and the more we concentrate our energies on that, the bigger the difference we can make.

Anyone with me??

A Day with a Shaman

2010-07-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

And I don´t know what the future is holding in store
I don´t know where I´m going, I´m not sure where I´ve been
There´s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the living, I don´t need to see the end

Sweet, sweet surrender, live live without a care
Like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air
Sweet, sweet surrender, live, live without a care
Like a fish in the water, like a bird in the air.

“Sweet Surrender” by John Denver

OK, let me be honest here...the last thing I expected to encounter during a workshop with a Shaman was a tribute to the late John Denver. That said, there was very little about the magical day and the amazing Lilo Ccoyllor (Morningstar) that I could possibly ever have envisioned. This was truly a life-changing day for me, and I dare say, for all the other fifteen participants of the workshop which was organised by Toby and Belinda of Ibiza Reiki, and held in the breathtakingly beautiful Buddha Land, high on a hill near San Miguel in the north of Ibiza.

Originally from Switzerland, Lilo´s Shamanic path started in California, where she lived for twenty years while she was married. She had had visions of Peru since the seventies and in 1998, after her divorce, she took the plunge, sold up everything and moved there, giving birth to the Casa de la Serenidad (House of Serenity), a Spiritual and Shamanic Retreat in Cusco, Peru. She is an Eclectic healer, Shaman, Lightworker and Visionary, whose main intention is to open her heart to the higher levels of consciousness of love and light, and to encourage others to do the same.

The day started with a Shamanic Cleansing. Lilo poured Agua de Florida into each of our hands which has wonderful cleansing and grounding properties and smells lemony-fresh and divine! This was used to cleanse ourselves and our auras, then we offered it to the Earth by putting our hands on the ground for a few minutes. Smoke sticks were burning in a bowl as Lilo then came around each of us, as we stood in a circle, with a feather and rattle, whispering uplifting and loving words to us. This, believe me, is a great way to start any day, and perhaps it would be a good idea for us to write to our local M.P.s and suggest it as part of the national school curriculum!

One of the highlights of the day, for me, was the group meditation we did just before breaking for lunch. In it, Lilo took us on a journey to the centre of the Earth, spreading healing and love and light as we went. Mother Earth then offered us a gift, and we gave her one back – I intuitively felt I was given a feather which, yes, of course may well have “just” been my imagination. But later in the day, when we had a Power Animal card reading, I selected The Raven, and Lilo immediately told me to be on the look-out for a raven feather which would serve me well, especially when doing my distance healing. Coincidence? Hmmm...some may say, but the warm, tingly glow I felt suggested otherwise to me.

There is much talk these days, as I´m sure everybody is aware, about 2012 and what will happen when we arrive at what the Mayans called the End of the Fifth Age of the Sun in December of that year. Theories abound from convictions that it means the end of the world, to convictions that it means nothing at all. Lilo spoke, in the most gentle and down-to-earth manner about this, and about where mankind currently stands in the evolutionary/ascension process.

The collective consciousness is shifting and we are at the threshold of an evolutionary quantum leap in human consciousness. As Planet Earth is ascending and vibrating at a higher level, it is now important that we work on our own electromagnetic fields. All issues (personal and of all humanity) are now showing up more than ever, causing confusion and chaos, especially in the big cities and this is happening because we are getting higher in the ascension process and the old stuff (in other words, anything not of the light) has to go. The Ascended Masters, also known as the Brotherhood of Light – which includes Jesus Christ and Mother Mary – are very much involved in this process – as are the Intergalactic Federation of Light who, like the Ascended Masters are...well, you know...ascended beings, but unlike the Ascended Masters, they have never actually incarnated on Earth before. They are channelling messages through people, and providing us with new tools to assist and speed up the process. For instance, a new chakra has been activated between the heart and the thymus to bring together heart and mind energy – heart energy being the most important energy of all – and to connect us to the fifth dimensional new earth. Another example is the Pyramid of Light, written about by Nestor Caceres in his new book “Encounter with the Science of Light”. This pyramid, when you stand astride it for a few minutes, provides an intense cleansing and clearing, very much needed for the transmission.

All right, let´s just take a breath here, shall we? Intergalactic Federation of what? Fifth dimensional thingumibob? Ascended Masters? Does this sound like a load of tree-hugging hippy nonsense? Well, that would certainly be the easy answer. But I think that any reasonable, intelligent, open-minded person readily accepts that there are things we don´t understand, things we have no grasp of due to our conditioning, and that just because we can´t see something, or “prove” something, doesn´t mean that it´s not there or that it´s not real. Sitting as I was that day, surrounded by a group of people, all totally different and unique, but all with one thing in common – the desire to make a positive difference to the world – and talking and listening to a fascinating Shaman, it was easy to understand and feel the truth and “realness” of everything she said. But, whether Intergalactic Federations and activations of new chakras resonates with you or not, the core of Lilo´s message, her gift to humanity, stands strong and is comfortingly straightforward and simple.

In a nutshell, it´s all about love, baby!

Love for yourself – warts and all. We should all love ourselves exactly as we are RIGHT NOW, no conditions. There´s no point in saying we will love ourselves when we lose weight, find the perfect job, meet Mr/Ms Right. It is only through embracing our “shadow” side that positive change can be brought into being. As John Bradshaw, motivational speaker and author, says “love is not a train station you are going to arrive at some day.”

Love for Pacha Mama (Mother Earth). It is important for us to now consciously show the planet love, respect and gratitude, to honour her, to realise our connection to her and to experience the undeniable interconnection between all living things.

Surrender. Surrender to love – to giving and to receiving love. Surrender to the mystery. And John Denver obviously knew a thing or two about this! This is a time when truthfulness is all important; we must stand in our own truth and realise that we cannot please everybody all of the time and that sometimes it is necessary to close the door. But as long as our hearts are open, we can do this more comfortably and with...yes, you guessed it... love.

Which, if you ask me, is a sound, common-sense approach to life – and I´m sure even the most hard-nosed sceptic would be hard-pressed to argue.

And that just leaves me with one more thing to share before I sign off – a lovely light affirmation from Lilo which you might like.

I think light
I breathe light
I feel light
I am light
Let light shine through me.

With love & light.
Namaste :)

(p.s. You might want to check out these sites)

http://www.shamanspirit.net/

http://www.ibizareiki.com/

The Time to Be Happy...

2010-07-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

During my recent trip back to the UK, I called in to visit my “Auntie” Sylvia. Auntie Sylvia is one of those wonderfully special aunties who, along with her two sisters – Auntie Margery and Auntie Rita (both sadly...for us left behind at least...now in spirit) – are not actually relatives; I´ve just always called them, and looked on them, as my aunties.

Like many elderly people´s houses, I found Auntie Sylvia´s home hadn´t changed a bit in the four years since I had last seen it. All the little nick-nacks and ornaments that had fascinated me as a child were still displayed in exactly the same spots; the two-foot-tall, home-knitted stuffed cats that had been used as doorstops for as long as I could remember, still stood sentry next to the threshold, and the powdered milk was still kept in the same floral container on the dining table next to the portable television. It all looked and smelled so comfortingly familiar!

But the thing that really drew my attention was the delicate china plate displayed, as it has always been, on the wall next to the window. It´s a Holly Hobbie plate – remember Holly Hobbie in her prairie-style, patchwork dress and massive, floppy bonnet? Well, there she is on this plate, holding a bunch of flowers, and around the edge of the plate are the words - “the time to be happy is now.”

I´ve bleated on in this blog about the universe being in constant communication with us, sending us messages and signs all day long, more often than I care to admit, and for me, this really was the perfect example. This lovely little plate that has been a regular fixture and fitting in my life for so many years had always held this message for me...and for everybody else who saw it. And yet, although on some level, I must have known what the words said, they had never lodged consciously. Had somebody asked me “what´s the saying on that Holly Hobbie plate?” I would have been hard-pressed to remember, I´m sure.

So, it´s taken the best part of 40 years, but finally I got the message, and am very grateful for it too. It´s such a simple, positive and uplifting message...and so true. The time to be happy is now. Of course it is...but we have to choose to let it be.

The message has somehow stuck with me and seemed to be prompting me give some thought to it, and to the whole concept of happiness. What is it exactly? I mean, I could rattle off a list of things that make me happy – living on a beautiful Mediterranean island, going out for a lovely meal with my husband, picking my parents up at the airport when I haven´t seen them for a few months, my cats, Reiki, writing, Tai Chi, Yoga, giving some-one a gift they absolutely love, walking on the beach – the list is endless and whilst some of the things that make me personally happy wouldn´t particularly make another person happy, they would doubtless still nod in approval and understanding were they to read my “things that make me happy” list. We all have “nice” things that we do, or “nice” things that happen to us to make us happy. And that´s good, I´m not saying that it´s not, but happiness itself is something quite different to the things that happen to us, or the people that make us happy.

It´s all too easy to become attached to these things and people – we tell ourselves the story that in order to be happy, these are the things that we need. But when we really break it down, it´s not the things, activities or people themselves that are the happiness. Happiness is the sense of gratitude, excitement, fulfilment, inspiration, wonder, trust and relaxation that these things and people generate within us. If we can learn to connect these very sentiments to every single aspect of our lives – the seemingly “bad” things as well as the “good” - then we are in a better position to find true happiness.

Going with the flow, allowing change to happen in our lives, and accepting that everything is working out for our greater good, no matter how it appears at the time, is the key to allowing ourselves to feel happiness at any given moment...including now.

Give it a go, next time something happens that you view as “bad” - be grateful for it, for the opportunity to learn and grow, feel excited and inspired, trust that it is perfect for you right now. And then you´ll see, the time to be happy really is now. No matter what.

After all, would Holly Hobbie lie to us?

I think not ;)

Passengers

2010-06-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Here on Ibiza, there is no such thing as a bus queue. People just kind of mill around, somewhere close to the bus-stop, wherever they fancy, and when the bus arrives, they get on. And if the person who turned up last gets on first...well, nobody bats an eyelid. So, having my first ever experience of flying Ryan Air last week, was something of a shock to the system.

Now, I´m not having a dig at Ryan Air here – far from it. The plane was comfortable, as far as planes go, the cabin staff were friendly and efficient and the pilots obviously knew what they were doing...well, I lived to tell this tale, didn´t I? But the thing with Ryan Air is that (unless you pay for the privilege), you are not allocated a specific seat number. And the consequences of this, my friends, I was simply not prepared for.

I started off quite well. At Ibiza airport, you are transported from the building to your plane on a bus with just the odd seat, so unless you are very lucky, you are standing, squashed against the other passengers and hanging on to handles on the ceiling or railings round the sides for dear life. I was one of the last ones onto the bus, because I´d been sitting in the airport bar drinking red wine while everyone else had been queuing at the gate, but this worked to my advantage. Last one on the bus, first one off which I was very relieved about – these airport buses are nightmares and I´m sure the pre-requisites of being a driver are the ability to make the short distance from airport to plane as jerky as possible, to brake as hard as possible on stopping, and then to wait as long as possible before opening the doors. And it was at this point...when the doors finally whooshed open...that the fun began.

I hopped off and started making my way towards the plane then suddenly, it was like a stampede. As soon as their feet hit the tarmac, everybody started running. Some to the front door of the plane, some to the back, all shouting at each other to hurry up and barging past everyone else to make it to the steps of the aircraft. The stewardess was standing at the top, looking calm and unflustered, clearly used to two hundred or so people launching themselves at break-neck speed towards her. I would have been terrified if I´d been her. As it was, I was merely bewildered. Did they all know something I didn´t know? What? The first twenty passengers on board get their flight for free? Rows nineteen through to twenty-two are given Indian Head Massages and a foot spa as they travel? Did seat 4c have a briefcase with a million euros stashed underneath it?

No, once I finally boarded, I realised that this was just a regular plane with rows of identical seats. I suppose I was fortunate in that I was travelling alone, so I didn´t have to try and get a party of passengers seats together, and at 5 foot tall, the few seats with extra leg room really held little interest to me, but still, the ferocity and determination of my fellow travellers to be the first on the plane was something to behold.

And do you know what the really strange thing was? Everybody got a seat. Everybody arrived at their destination. Amazing, isn´t it?

But the whole episode got me to thinking how we are all control freaks to some degree. We push and shove and have to have things the way we think they should be when, really, none of it matters. We can journey through life stressing over the little things, or we can flow easily with it, accepting that everything is as it is, and that everything works out perfectly in the end. We are exactly where we are supposed to be and we all get to where we´re going one way or the other.

I´m not sure it would ever use it as its advertising slogan, but for me, it´s true. Ryan Air, the great metaphor for life. Take your seat wherever it happens to be, and enjoy the journey.

That said, next time, I´m definitely flying Jet 2. ;)

What the heck??...

2010-06-10T04:07:00.000-07:00

I´m experiencing some strange activity on my blog...or rather, on the comments.

Many of them are coming through as oriental-style characters - check it out on the last entry, Distracted - three of the six comments appear like this!! Weird, eh?

I doubt very much that these responses were sent through in anything other than English, it´s more likely to be some kind of programming error, but I just wanted to write this short blog, firstly, to thank everyone for the comments and to explain that I´m not being ill-mannered or ungrateful in not replying...I´m just at a bit of a loss as to what it all means!!

If you do want to contact me, maybe an email to jinnyibiza@gmail.com might be the easiest - I´m always interested to know what you all think.

Oh...and if anyone has any idea why this is happening, I´d love a heads-up.

Thanks :)

Namaste

Distracted

2010-05-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

This morning, I de-activated my Facebook account...and, for some reason, I feel ridiculously happy about it. I´ve been trying to figure out why that should be for the last few hours and I think I might have sussed it out.

I read a quote recently by Herbie Hancock - “You would not exist if you did not have something to bring to the table of the life.” Yay Herbie, I´m with you on that one! We are all here to serve a positive purpose, we each have our own unique gift to offer to the world, our own paths to walk, our own dreams to fulfil, otherwise, quite simply, we would not be here.

Which is all well and good, but living as we do in what the Taoists refer to as “The World of the Ten Thousand Things”, we are surrounded by distractions (and I think it´s safe to say that there are more than just ten thousand) which makes it almost impossible for us to even figure out what our higher purpose is, let alone focus enough to actually achieve it.

Some distractions are good – they can energise us, revitalise and renew us, even inspire us. But if we are serious about bringing our gift to the table of life, then we need to be able to differentiate between positive distractions, and those that do nothing other than take our attention off the main goal by filling our minds with negativity or meaninglessness.

This will be different for everybody. For one person, playing a computer game would be seen as a total waste of time, for another, it sharpens the mind and the reflexes. Laying in a field, watching the clouds float across the sky would be an unthinkable squandering of time to some, while to others, it calms and inspires. Some people would be thrilled at the distraction of unannounced guests turning up on the doorstep, other people would see it as an intrusion on their time and energy and feel resentful. Nobody is right and nobody is wrong. The key is to recognise how you work, what helps and what hinders you. And that´s what I came to realise about Facebook. There´s nothing wrong with it, and I know a lot of people gain a great deal from it - it just turns out that I´m not one of them. It had become a negative distraction, with very little of interest to me personally and actually, at times, certain posts irritating me with their banality and self-indulgence. And yet, there I was, several times every day, scrolling through my news feed allowing myself to be distracted.

The universe is communicating with us all day long, quite often through our feelings and emotions, so it´s important to take notice. When we ignore our true feelings, when we allow ourselves to be surrounded and influenced by people who are not in harmony with our true purpose, when we take on board other people´s dramas and negativity, when we spend our time doing something that serves no function other than to distract us from the joy of our higher purpose, then it is all too easy to lose sight of our dreams.

So, now it´s official – I am no longer a member of the Facebook community, and the happiness and sense of lightness I feel, along with the extra whoosh of creativity that is now coursing through me, tells me that this was the right decision for me.

Be distracted and inspired by all means, just don´t be distracted by dross – whatever that is to you.

In the meantime, long live Twitter, that´s what I say!! ;)

Namaste.

The Magic of Ibiza

2010-04-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I realised this morning that, in all the time I´ve had this blog entitled “Healing & Light from the White Isle”, I´ve never actually written a piece about the White Isle herself. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that is about to change... :)

I say “herself” because, quite simply, that´s how I view Ibiza – as female energy. Stepping off the plane when we arrived for our first holiday here, ten years ago, it was like I could feel her wrap her arms around me and I immediately felt safe and nurtured somehow. I´d no idea, of course, back then what this all meant; that it was, in fact, the first clue that I would eventually make this my home – I just knew it felt nice and kind of special, and didn´t give it much further thought than that. Space and Privilege were calling, after all!

Numerous clubbing holidays over the course of the next few years ensued, but even so, amidst the bedlam and the haze, there was a quiet little voice whispering to us – both me and my hubby – and eventually, we started to give serious consideration to moving to Ibiza.

And that´s when things got really weird.

Ibiza, or rather Es Vedra, the mysterious, majestic island rearing out of the sea off the south coast, is the third most magnetic spot on the planet and we certainly seemed to be feeling its pull, but to upsticks and move? Hubby had a senior job with a large multi-national, I worked full-time, we had a nice house, good standard of living, hectic social life and four cats. It seemed like an impossible pipe-dream, irresponsible even, but as soon as we faced the fact that we wanted to move, it seemed the entire universe conspired to make it happen and our life suddenly turned into something resembling a far-fetched movie with an implausible and contrived plot-line. There was no way we could have imagined or orchestrated events to transpire the way they did.

Hubby was offered a voluntary redundancy package that we would have never dared dream possible. To our astonishment, our house, when we had it valued, was worth three times the amount we´d paid for it and the day before we were due to put it on the market, a lady turned up on the doorstep selling raffle tickets for the village gala, of all things. We started chatting and, for some reason, ended up telling her about our plans to move. It turned out she was looking to buy a house in our village, so she had a look around and made us an offer there and then. Neither estate agents nor their fees were necessary!

Things had happened so quickly that found ourselves in the tricky position of having sold our house, without having found accommodation on Ibiza. The simplest solution seemed to be to rent a house in the UK while we were looking, but all the properties available to rent were for a minimum of 12 months (we wanted a 6 month contract) and none of them allowed pets. Just as time was running out and we were starting to get desperate, we stumbled across a letting agent we´d somehow missed before. We explained our situation and the agent, with a gasp, said “oh, what a coincidence”. Just the day before, a man had put his house up to rent with her which, due to his personal circumstances, he only wanted to rent out for 6 months, and he worked with animals so she was sure the cats would be no problem. In fact, the house was the only one on her records with a cat flap!

Once again, it felt like the universe and Ibiza were smiling on our plans. We managed to find the perfect house on Ibiza with little fuss and set a date for the big move. Now the only thing troubling us was transporting our four spoiled-rotten and totally adored cats to Ibiza. Getting ourselves there was a piece of cake compared to shipping animals and the more we looked into it, the more of a logistical nightmare it appeared to be. Then, a couple of months after we´d moved into our rented house, the owner – who we had never met before, all dealings having been carried out through the letting agent – called round. I found myself in floods of grateful tears when he mentioned, in passing, what he did for a living. He was the Managing Director of a freight company...who specialised in shipping pets abroad!! Problem solved – he himself collected our fur-babies and got them safely onto a plane to follow us out.

This all happened four years ago and to this day, I continue to marvel and chuckle at the magic of it all. I feel blessed that I am able now to live my life on this beautiful island, pursuing my creative dreams. Instead of rushing and stressing, working hard for someone else and frantically cramming in every social event we thought we couldn´t possibly miss, simplifying our lives in this way has, in fact, led us to the bliss we were always chasing.

But it hasn´t all been smooth sailing – far from it. I said before that Ibiza has a nurturing and protecting energy...but she is also tough as old boots! For me, I feel that she´s saying, “well, all right then, come and live here, but I have some things to teach you. Are you ready for that?” Erm...I suppose so. Lessons have abounded in the time I´ve been here – some fairly straightforward and easy to take on board, some absolutely not. I view Ibiza´s main lesson to me – which I now understand is a gift of gigantic proportions – as showing me all things and all people, including myself, in our true colours to see how I will handle it. A little bit shakily, it has to be said, on the occasions when the truth turns out to be startlingly at odds with what I´d previously assumed to be the case. Tough lessons, tough love, but I´ll tell you something – I wouldn´t have missed out on a single one of them.

It´s felt nice to write about this and to actually express to the world via the internet (or at least to anyone still reading these ramblings) my gratitude to the Tao of Ibiza and to share what is clearly the most important lesson for us all here. The power of positive intention, followed by simply letting go and trusting. When something is right, and is for our highest and greater good, then all we have to do is state it clearly, ask for help & sit back to allow the magic in.

Give it a go...who knows where you might end up. ;)

A Thankless Task (a short story by Jinny M Throup)

2010-04-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Kevin let out a silent sigh of relief as the nurse quietly told his wife’s parents it was time for them to leave. Their grief-stricken faces, their tears as they'd gazed in stunned silence at their daughter, pale and seemingly motionless underneath stiff hospital sheets, had been almost unbearable. He’d wanted to reach out to them, say something, do something, anything, but he couldn’t and when the nurse gently ushered them out, neither of them had looked at him. It didn’t surprise him. He knew they blamed him for Ellie’s suicide attempt.

He shook his head sadly and made his way to Ellie’s bedside. And who could blame them for blaming him? Who else was there to blame? He reached to touch Ellie’s short, dark hair. This was all his fault. How could he have been so stupid? So reckless? If only he'd stopped just for one instant that night, stopped to think about what he was doing, the consequences, the hurt he might cause through his thoughtlessness. But he hadn't. It had all seemed like such a good idea at the time, and he'd simply never considered the possibility that Ellie would ever find out.

Of course, it was always easy to blame the drink, but now Kevin knew better. If there was one positive thing to be taken out of this whole, pitiful mess, at least he knew now that he couldn’t go on blaming the drink for what had happened. It had been his choice all along and whilst at first it had been tough to face up to this responsibility, it was an insight he’d eventually found surprisingly liberating.

His attention was distracted by a tall man, dressed in the customary white, quietly entering the room and, suddenly glad to see a familiar, friendly face, Kevin managed a smile as he greeted him.

“Hey Peter.”

“Hi Kev. How’s she doing?”

Kevin shrugged his shoulders.

“You know better than I do, mate. You're the professional.”

His attempt at humour appeared to fall on deaf ears; Peter was checking charts and drips, his expression serious and Kevin could hardly keep his eyes off him. He studied the big man’s profile as he bent over the bed, peering intently at Ellie, his hand resting softly on her brow.

“All's well,” he whispered, as if to himself, and as he turned from the bed, Kevin couldn't help noticing that his look of occupational concern had turned into something quite different. His face seemed to have lit up just by looking at his wife, and his eyes were filled with something that looked very much like pure love. He couldn’t keep quiet any

longer.

“Peter…”

“Uh-huh,”

Kevin lowered his gaze and fidgeted for a moment, not sure where to start. He’d no idea anything could feel this awkward. Of course, he thanked God that Peter had been there last night, that he'd found Ellie when he did, but there were things he needed to know. Questions he needed answering.

Peter broke into the silence.

“You really mustn’t blame yourself, you know. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, you’re the only one around here who thinks so.”

There was a distinct note of self-pity in Kevin’s voice, but he couldn’t help it.

“No, I'm not. Not really.”

Peter had that mysterious look in his eyes, that soothing lilt to his voice, as though he were privy to something that everyone else would find out later. It wasn’t an arrogant look, it was just the way Peter was, and if he was honest, Kevin had to admit that, like pretty much everything else about Peter, it had a way of making him feel better about things. Even this.

“It’s just, well, you know, I was wondering…”

“Of course you were. You were wondering what exactly happened last night, weren´t you?”

Kevin nodded as Peter sat down on the only chair in the room, gesturing as he did for Kevin to take a seat on the bed. Kevin glanced down at his wife as he sat next to her and a flood of remorse once again swept over him, but he couldn’t cry. No more tears would come. He reached for her hand and turned his attention back to Peter.

“I wasn’t there, Peter. That’s the hardest thing. I should have been there for her and I wasn’t.”

“There was somewhere else you had to be, things you had to do.”

“No! I should have been there. I should have been with Ellie. She needed me, and I wasn’t there. I let her down. Again.”

“Well, what's done is done, and there were good reasons for your not being there. You

couldn’t have been there, you know that. You were exactly where you were meant to be, Kevin. You always are.”

“But you were there.”

“That’s different.”

A silence settled on the room as Kevin tried to control his emotions. Peter had a point; there was no way on earth he could have been there with Ellie last night, but it was his own stupidity, his own irresponsibility that had caused their separation in the first place. That's why he'd been off somewhere else, doing those other things. That's why Ellie had been pushed to her limit, and why he'd been unable to do anything to help her. But Peter had. Somehow he'd been there, he'd saved her. How had that happened?

“Are you sure you really want to know the truth? Some of it might be difficult for you.”

“Just tell me.” Kevin’s voice was low, miserable but his mind was alert. Ready.

Peter began to speak, to tell the story of last night and, closing his eyes, Kevin felt as though he were somehow being transported there by the words themselves. As though he were actually watching the whole thing, just like a movie.

Ellie was crying. No, Ellie was sobbing. Sitting at the kitchen table, a framed photo of him, Kevin, in one hand, a bottle of whisky in the other.

“You bastard! How could you leave me?”

Her voice was a thick, slurred wail and Kevin felt a pang, like a gunshot, right in the centre of his chest.

“I never left you, Ellie,” he blurted out, “I'd never leave you. I'm here. I'm right here.”

He looked helplessly at Peter.

“It was just a stupid mistake. That night...I never meant for any of this to happen. I got drunk, and things got out of control and...”

“I know,” Peter interrupted gently, “I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen.”

With his words, the movie started again.

Ellie had been in no state to listen. Kevin doubted she was even aware that Peter was with her. She'd thrown the photo onto the tiled kitchen floor, walked barefoot through the shards of glass from the broken frame and, still gripping the bottle of whisky, made her unsteady way upstairs to the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood from the soles of her feet behind her. Then things had become eerily quiet but in his mind's eye, Kevin could see Ellie sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor, barely flinching as she drew the razor blade down her wrists, then curling herself into the foetal position to calmly await death as blood poured from her wounds and pooled nauseatingly dark and thick onto the beige carpet. Kevin forced the image away and focused instead on his overwhelming sense of relief that Peter had been there to tend to Ellie straight away, to call for help and then to stay with her, talking to her, until first her sister, and then the ambulance had arrived.

“What did you talk to her about?” There were endless questions spinning around Kevin's head, but this seemed like the right one to ask.

“Well, mainly about you actually. I tried to explain how you couldn't help what happened. How, on the surface, it might look like a straightforward case of you drinking and driving, something she'd disapprove of, be angry about even, but how nothing is straightforward, and everything happens for a reason...”

Peter paused and looked steadily at Kevin.

“Even your death.”

Kevin let out a grunt. “Charming.”

Peter smiled and carried on.

“No matter how much easier it is to believe otherwise, you were not just being stupid and irresponsible that night. You were playing your part in the Grand Scheme of Things. You agreed to this before you were born. So did Ellie. You just both forgot which, believe me, is normal. So many distractions down here.”

“But why would we agree to tragedy? Who in their right minds would agree to dying in a car wreck aged 27? Who would agree to becoming a widow at 24? I still don't get it.”

There was a twinkle in Peter's eyes as he replied patiently.

“For the lessons you chose to learn this time around.”

“Huh. Well, I'm not impressed with my choice of lessons. I'm not impressed with being dead. I always thought if you were dead, at least you'd be able to do cool stuff. Like save your wife, for instance. Turns out being dead, no-one can hear you, no-one can feel you.” Kevin tried to ruffle Ellie's hair to make his point. “You can't make any difference at all. You might as well be...well...dead.”

Peter was nodding.

“I know. It's not all it's cracked up to be, but it does get easier, honestly. You want to try my job, being a guardian angel is one sure fire way of being completely and utterly ignored. Talk about a thankless task. I swear, you could bang a gong or ring a church bell right in their ears and they'd still not hear you.”

“Peter, look,”

Kevin nodded to Ellie. Her eyes were flickering, her fingers twitching above the tight bandaging around her wrists, and she made a pain-filled sound as she slowly opened her eyes.

“Come on. Time to go.”

Peter glanced at Kevin, his face filled with compassion, understanding completely the other man's reluctance to leave. He draped an arm around him, adding softly, “it's just for now. We can come back soon.”

The pair left the room just as the nurse hurried in.

“Ellie! You're awake. No, don't try to move, my love. What a lucky girl you are. If your sister hadn't happened to call on you when she did, well...”

Ellie closed her eyes again. Pain filled her body and her mind just as the sharp disinfectant smell of the hospital filled her senses and as always, her first waking thoughts were of Kevin, of Kevin no longer being here, but today there was something different. The agonising desperation had faded and she was feeling an unexpected but undeniable sense of calm. Perhaps she was sedated, but Ellie didn't think that was the reason. It was more a feeling of having just been with Kevin, of having felt his love surround her again, and of beginning to make sense of something; something she couldn't quite remember, but something that somehow made her feel less alone than she had in the weeks since he'd died.

The nurse was still chattering, promising to call her family straight away and her voice, full of empathy and gentleness reminded Ellie that, in spite of what had happened, there were still people who cared about her. There was still hope, and while there was hope, well - she could barely believe she was thinking this, but yes, it was true - while there was hope, she was glad to be alive. Groggy, but glad to be alive. She opened her eyes and managed a watery smile for the nurse who was cheerily describing what a beautiful day it was.

“You'd hardly believe it was November. Not a cloud in the sky. Look, I'll open the blinds for you...”

As the nurse hurried to the window, somewhere in the distance, a church bell began to

ring.

And for some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on, Ellie was glad she could hear it.

The Big Blab Theory

2010-04-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

Living in what the Taoists refer to as “the world of the ten thousand things” along with approximately 7 billion other people, it´s reasonable to assume that at certain points during our life journeys, we are all going to be on the receiving end of some kind of “blabbing”.

I´m talking here about gossiping, spreading rumours, back-stabbing, tittle-tattling – call it what you will, whatever form it takes from the outright malicious and slanderous to simply revelling in dishing the dirt, it´s an ugly business. And make no mistake, its negative effects spread far and wide.

The Law of Attraction states that what we focus on grows, so it follows that if we do find ourselves on the receiving end of some kind of gossip, we should simply ignore it and it will go away. Yeah, right – well that´s easy isn´t it? Glad we got that sorted out!! No, let´s face it, if someone has been saying unkind or untrue things behind our backs, or has repeated to others something we had told them in confidence, then of course we are going to feel betrayed and hurt, angry even. Denying those feelings serves no positive purpose whatsoever, and that is not what I mean when I talk about “ignoring”.

I am a big believer in the power of venting. Here´s how it works. Announce to the universe, or the Tao, your intention to vent and that it is simply that and nothing else. Your venting time is the beginning of a healing process – for everyone concerned – and should in no way be construed as sending out negative energies, thus worsening the situation. Be very clear about this. Then, if there is someone you trust completely, vent to them. Or if you prefer, vent to yourself in front of a mirror, or write it all down. The idea is to get toxic thoughts and feelings out of your head – where they will only fester and cause harm – and out into the open in a conscious and responsible way in order for them to be diffused.

Put a time limit on your venting – say, 20 minutes – then let it go. This is the tricky bit. The temptation is to return to it, to go over it again and again, but realise that this is only the ego at play. The ego loves a drama, especially the type that prompts a “how DARE they treat me like this” reaction, and it´s all too easy to get bogged down in that. When we get stuck in these kinds of thought cycles, we´re no longer venting, we´re adding negativity to an already negative situation.

But be warned, the ego is a tough old boot and is not at all impressed by being told to shut up – by its very nature, it views itself as hugely important after all. So, the chances are it will shout all the louder. The knack is to be aware, to notice when we are slipping into irritation, indignation and self-pity, and then to consciously change that. We can take our thoughts higher any time we choose, so have a suitable affirmation to hand – something like “I see the Tao in everyone” or “I am pure love and light” - whatever works - and repeat it over and over; even if at first it is through gritted teeth and with the odd curse word thrown in, before too long, it will have an effect and you will start to feel warmer and calmer.

Be patient and gentle with yourself, give yourself some time and space and eventually, the lessons will become clear, along with the most appropriate form of action. If a confrontation is necessary, you will at least be coming to it from a calmer and more empowered perspective, and if a release is required then it can be done with love, gentleness and understanding.

We all owe it to ourselves and each other to do our best to avoid getting involved in any kind of gossip and if we do find ourselves on the receiving end, it´s a good (if painful) idea to take a look at our own actions in the past. What we give out, we get back multiplied, after all so if someone is bitching about us, who have we been bitching about?

Time to stop the bitching and do something more useful with our time?

I think so, don´t you?

The Blame Game

2010-03-09T11:24:00.000-08:00

Suitable for two or more players. Age 3 +.

Rules:-

The object of the game is to skilfully negotiate your way around the board, apportioning blame whenever possible to the other players.

Extra points are awarded for aggression and refusing to listen to another point of view. Players, above all else, should deny their own responsibility and decline to examine their own issues, patterns and lessons.

Any player landing on “The Big Picture” square must miss a go and pick a Zen card, thus being challenged to ignore that the other participants are playing their parts to perfection and are, in fact, assisting in his or her spiritual growth and understanding.

This truth can only be overcome if a player has already acquired one or more “ego”, “intolerance” or “just don´t get it” cards – all of which can be played at this time in order to avoid being thrown in Blame Jail.

If incarcerated, the player must remain in jail until one of the other players land either on a “self-pity” or “aggression” square themselves – which immediately frees you from jail – or the golden card of “No-one can DO something TO us unless we allow it and everything happens for a reason and is for our highest and greatest good” turns up – at which point, the game is over.

The winner is...well, that´s the uniqueness of this particular game. There are no winners. Everyone loses in the Blame Game.

Let the games begin.

The Wacky World of Creativity

2010-03-01T04:25:00.000-08:00

What? Hello? Where am I? Oh, I´m back in my blog – almost didn´t recognise it, it´s been so long since I´ve been here!

What a funny old thing creativity is. This seems to have been one of my lessons over the last few weeks, and the thing I feel compelled to write about today.

Up to recently, I´d never experienced any kind of block when it came to writing regular blogs, then suddenly bam! Out of nowhere, a wall Hadrian would have been proud of flung itself up in my mind and every time my thoughts to turned to writing something, I just kept banging my head against it.

Headaches and frustration ensued and all of a sudden everything seemed preferable to sitting down and writing. Scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, ironing socks with a crease down the middle, sorting out CDs into alphabetical order – you know, fun stuff and, of course, all hugely essential.

But, as with all things in life, there was something to be learned here – although, be warned, it is a bit of a dichotomy.

On the one hand, I totally agree that there is little point in waiting until you feel inspired and creative to sit down to write. Inspiration tends to come along while we are working and many times in the past, I´ve not been in the mood to write but just got on with it anyway, soon to find myself in a strong creative flow and loving the process. I get that, I do.

And yet, on the other hand, I also believe that there are times when it´s best not to force it. I mean, where does creativity come from? Is there a magical, creative voice informing us? Our muse, as it were? I think so, and I also think that at the times we feel “blocked”, it is at its busiest, working overtime whispering the best and most authentic way forward to our subconscious minds. If we and our rational minds can get out of the way and not interfere with this process (too many cooks and all that), very soon those ideas will burst through to the surface and we are back in the flow – writing, making music, painting, sculpting – whatever our particular creative outlet may be.

Sometimes the rational mind just doesn´t get the magic of the process and has to be kept occupied doing something else while the real inventive stuff gets cracking behind the scenes.

So, the next time you catch me sorting a whole cabinet of books into alphabetical order, looking all fed-up and sorry for myself, just remind me of this, would you?

Thanks. :)

In Clipped Tones (a short story)

2009-12-29T09:34:00.000-08:00

The day Mark Theodore's nail-clippers started to talk to him, he knew he was screwed.

That wasn't his first thought, of course; his first thought was that this was just his mind playing tricks on him, an understandable, if somewhat bizarre, reaction to all the stress he'd been suffering lately. He'd even asked himself if it really was so bizarre - his “obsessive nail clipping” as his ex-girlfriend, Julie, liked to call it, was his stress-relieving technique of choice after all, never failing to cool his temper, soothe his nerves and calm him down. Some people smoke, some people play squash, some people punch cushions. Mark Theodore clipped his nails, so when the stress had reached the level of intensity that it had on that particular day, causing Mark Theodore, of all people, to actually...well, kind of, pray (if looking to the sky and yelling “oh come on, God, give me a break! Help me out here for Christ's sake,” can be considered a prayer), was it not natural that it should be his anxiety-relieving tools themselves who would try to communicate with him?

“Yes, that's right, Mark. Just doing our job. Chill out, man. Things are really not so bad, you know.”

Mark had pondered this in uneasy silence for a moment, and it was at that point the awful truth had dawned. If he was giving serious consideration to the fact that there could be anything remotely natural about talking nail-clippers, then yes, he was screwed. And as far as he could see it, there was only one sensible course of action to follow and that, obviously, was to ignore them. After all, it wasn't like he didn't have enough on his mind right now, was it? The last thing he needed, on top of all the other stuff he'd got going on, was the worry that he might be totally and utterly off his rocker.

“Talking nail clippers,” he laughed unconvincingly, shoved them deep into his jeans pocket and made his way to the kitchen to mull over the events of the day with a large glass of Scotch.

She was an uppity little so-and-so that personnel officer, Vicky or whatever she was called, sitting there all superior, telling him, daring to tell him, Mark Theodore, that he had an attitude problem. Attitude problem? The nerve! He didn't have an attitude problem, as he'd been quick to point out – he just found it frustrating to be surrounded by incompetent men and hormonal women. They were stupid. Every last one of them. Exactly the same as every other place he'd ever worked – idiots! He'd spent his entire working life surrounded by idiots, was it any wonder he got agitated sometimes, and shouted? And swore. And slammed doors. And name-called. And threw his telephone across the office (although that was just the once, and it was the day after Julie had left him, so surely he ought to be cut a bit of slack.)

Mark shuddered, unsure whether it was caused by his first gulp of whisky or the memory of Vicky's patronisingly calm face and tone of voice as she told him he was fired.

“You've been warned before, Mark. In less than 8 months of working here, you've managed to insult pretty much every member of staff. We're going to have to let you go. You should really take some time to re-evaluate your attitude.”

“Re-evaluate your attitude,” Mark mimicked nastily, then knocked back the rest of his whisky, dug into his jeans pocket for his trusty nail-clippers and made his way to the pedal bin to start clipping. It was automatic. No thought required.

“She's got a point, you know.”

“What? Who has?”

“The girl from Personnel. She's called Becky, by the way.”

“Becky. Vicky. Whatever.”

“People generally like it when you get their names right. Makes them feel, you know, like you give a damn. And she does have a point.”

“ A point? Don't make me laugh. She wasn't making any point. No, that jumped up little madam has just been waiting for a chance to get one up on me, and she knew she'd got it the minute that snivelling, simpering secretary went running to her. 'Oh, that nasty Mark, he's just told me my perfume's like something his grandmother would wear and my typing's shit,' well, boo-bloody-hoo. It's all true, and yet I'm the one getting fired thanks to that blubbering moron. I mean, what the hell? I'm not the one waddling around the office, stinking it out with my cheapo cologne and not doing my job properly. She, that stupid secretary, she's the one ought to be fired. But then, what do you expect? The place is run by imbeciles. I'm best off out of it.”

“That's just it, Mark. It's your attitude, see?”

Mark suddenly stopped clipping his nails, his face flushed and breathing shallow as his anger churned and grew, but that wasn't the only reason. He was doing it again, conversing with a pair of nail-clippers. Out loud. Jesus, he really was losing his mind.

“No you're not, Mark. We're just trying to tell you that things might start getting better for you if you would give us a chance and lis...”

He shoved them back in his pocket and quickly poured another drink. Things might start getting better, eh? Well, no shit. The whole world and its dog seemed to be against him, so they couldn't get much worse could they? Mark sat down heavily on a kitchen stool and sighed. How on earth had it got to this? Julie had been gone nearly four months now – he glanced at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink and had to admit he missed her. Sure, she could be a narky sod at times, accusing him of being impossible to live with ('arrogant, male-chauvinistic arsehole' was what she'd actually spat at him, if he remembered rightly) but he'd really thought they had something going. It had been the longest relationship he'd ever had at any rate. And what was it his mother had said when he'd told her Julie had left? “She did right, too. You never did know how to treat a woman right. Come to think of it, you never knew how to treat anybody right. I don't know where I went wrong with you.” Obviously, he'd not spoken to the cantankerous old bag since. Who did she think she was? Besides, his phone had been cut off last week, so that solved that problem.

Mark knocked back his whisky and resisted the temptation to pour another. There was nothing in the house resembling food, so it looked like a drive to the Indian Takeaway, and no doubt another confrontation with that useless girl who always got his order wrong, was on the cards. What was it with people? If he ordered Pilau rice, he got plain; if he ordered plain, he got Pilau. How difficult could it be to get a simple order right? She did it on purpose, he was sure, she just didn't like him and if there was anywhere else in this god-forsaken town to buy a half-decent Jalfrezi, then he'd take his custom there. Not that he'd have to worry about that after tonight, of course. There would be no more spare money for luxuries such as curries for a while, not unless he could find another job pretty damn quick. He was already two months behind on the mortgage payments, all four of his credit cards were up to their limits and, quite frankly, he was surprised that the leasing company hadn't re-possessed his car yet. Surely that was only a matter of time. And now he had no job. Mark grabbed his car keys and slammed out of the house.

*******************

There was no-one else in the take-away when he strode in, and the useless girl gave him a nervous, wary look as he approached the counter and looked beyond her to study the giant menu displayed on the wall. Neither of them said hello, neither of them smiled. Mark knew exactly what he wanted, but he was enjoying the girl's discomfort and self-consciousness as she hovered waiting for him to make his choice, so he took his time. Eventually, he snapped his order at her and thrust a £20 note over the counter. She fumbled in the till, and when she meekly asked him if he had the 40 pence as she was short of change, he gave her a long stare, then dug into his pockets and slammed the contents onto the counter for her to root out what she needed.

“Thank you,” she muttered before scurrying off around the back to the sanctuary of the kitchen.

“Don't mention it. I mean, what would be the point of making life easy for your customers by actually having change in your till?” Mark mumbled under his breath, then sighed and glanced up at the television, high on brackets in the far corner behind the counter. That was another thing that drove him mad about about take-aways. Always a television, but never any sound. What was the point of that? Were take-aways part of some secret organisation, committed to teaching people to lip-read while they waited for their curries? It was stupid.

“Yes, but it smells good doesn't it?”

Mark breathed in deeply. The flowery, tangy aroma of countless herbs and spices whose names he'd never know and the sharp, mouth-watering scent of frying onions which always took him right back to childhood visits to the fairground, filled his senses, and he smiled. Hell yes, it did smell good.

“Erm, now that we've got your attention, could we talk to you for a minute?”

The nail-clippers which he'd emptied out of his pocket along with his coinage were still sitting on the counter. Mark glanced instinctively towards the kitchen, then gave a stiff nod of his head.

“You think your life sucks, right?”

Mark nodded again.

“You think that nothing ever works out for you, that everybody is trying to get one over on you, and that nobody cares, right?”

Another nod.

“Well, we have the solution to your problems, Mark. We know what you should do to turn your life around.”

Mark blinked, the exotic fragrances and memories of carefree days rapidly fading from his consciousness, leaving only the stark reality that here he was, in a take-away with no change in its till, watching a pointlessly silent television, waiting for his order which was more than likely going to be wrong. And his nail-clippers were talking to him again.

“You see, we've been with you for a very long time and we believe in you, Mark. We know you're ready for things to change. Listen to us now and listen carefully. If you really want your life to change for the better, all you have to do is spend one whole day, tomorrow, showing only kindness, consideration and respect to everybody you come into contact with. You must think only good thoughts. You must see only the positive in every single thing. In other words, be nice, Mark. Just for one day. We realise that this is a bit of a tall order, but we believe you're ready for a challenge.”

“A challenge? Don't you think I've had enough challenges to last me a lifetime?”

It came out louder than he expected and spotting the useless girl and the chef throwing a sudden, bemused glance in his direction, Mark faked a coughing fit behind his hand.

“If it helps, Mark, you could always just talk to us in your head. We can hear your thoughts.”

“Oh. Well, that's creepy,” Mark thought.

“We prefer to think of it as useful. And it will certainly help us keep a close watch on things and help you remain in a state of total positivity and grace tomorrow.”

“A state of total what? What are you talking about? Are you having a laugh?”

“Chicken Jalfrezi and Pilau Rice,” the useless girl attempted a smile as she appeared from the kitchen and put the brown paper bag on the counter in front of him. Mark took a steadying breath.

“I ordered plain..”

“You could always start now. Go on! Be nice. Make the changes start even faster.”

Mark forced a smile at the girl.

“Thank you very much. Good evening.”

He grabbed the bag and hurried from the take-away with absolutely no idea why he was going along with this. But then, what harm could it do? How could things get any worse?

*****************

The following morning, as he furiously brushed his teeth in an attempt to get rid of the nasty curry after-taste, Mark found himself planning in his head exactly what he was going to say to that useless girl at the take-away when he went back to complain that night.

“How come it is that every time I eat one of your curries, I end up with a dodgy stomach? Every time. What is it? Do you not cook your food properly, or is it just poor quality ingredients? Hmm?”

Yes, that should do it. Maybe he should threaten the local newspaper too.

“Oh, come on Mark. You enjoyed every mouthful of that Jalfrezi, you know you did. Curries often give people a mild case of the trots, but they´re worth it. It´s no big deal.”

Mark glared at the clippers on the shelf in front of him and spat frothy, minty toothpaste into the sink.

“Easy for you to say. You're not the ones whose guts were playing up all through the night, having to dash to the loo every few minutes.”

“No, but we were stuck here in the bathroom, remember. And it was not a pleasant experience, let us tell you. Now come on, Mark, focus. You're supposed to be being positive today and this is hardly a good start.”

Mark rinsed out his mouth and wiped his face with the towel.

“I suppose.”

“Good. So what's the plan?”

“The plan? The plan is to find myself a job, of course. I'm off to the newsagents to buy a paper.”

“Great idea. Let's go!”

Mark clicked his tongue. “Calm down. It's not so exciting.”

“Of course it is. You never know what's going to happen, or what you might find.”

“Yes I do. Just a bunch of the usual crappy office jobs. Sales, accounts, call centres. All rubbish, and to think I have a degree in business studies, you know.”

“Positive, Mark!”

“Oh, damn it! Yes OK. Here I go, on my way to find my perfect job which will be fulfilling and varied every day of my working life until I retire. There, is that better?”

“Much better. You see, you're getting the hang of it already.”

Mark stifled a groan, shoved the clippers in his pocket and headed out of the house. This was getting ridiculous. He'd seriously expected this bizarre phenomenon to have ended by this morning, that he would get up, find his nail clippers naturally and comfortingly silent again, and be able to put the whole experience down to mega-stress.

“Hey Mark, surely you're not thinking of taking the car to the newsagents, are you?”

Mark slid into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

“Of course I'm taking the car. How else am I going to get there?”

“How about walking?”

Mark snorted and turned the ignition.

“Seriously. It's a beautiful morning, and the newsagent's only round the corner. Why pollute the air when you don't need to?”

“Oh shut up.”

“OK. Obviously you're not as fit as you like to make out. Can't even manage a tidgy little walk.”

Mark closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then killed the ignition and clambered out of the car.

“All right. If I go along with all this, following your suggestions, you know, being nice all day, then does that mean that, after today, you'll leave me alone?

“If you like.”

“Right, well that sounds like a deal to me.”

“Good, let's go.”

Mark began his trek to the village, still wondering why on earth he was taking any of this stuff seriously. States of positivity and grace, being nice, love and kindness, seeing the good – it all sounded like a bunch of tree-hugging hippy crap to him. And yet, there was no denying, it was a beautiful day and as he slowed his pace, Mark couldn't help but think that if that smarmy, pain-in-the-butt, Vicky...

“Becky.”

...Becky hadn't sacked him yesterday, then by now, he'd be sitting in that horrible little office, surrounded by people he had nothing in common with, feeling angry, depressed and...smothered, somehow. There was no denying that this was a far pleasanter way to spend his morning (recently sacked or not), a nice, gentle stroll to the village, the same route he'd been used to driving every morning and yet, surely, there weren't usually so many trees. And just listen to all those birds singing. Mark smiled and breathed in deeply. Perhaps those pesky nail-clippers had a point after all.

His attention was distracted by the sight of the old lady who lived in the bungalow two doors down from him approaching in the opposite direction, the bulging shopping bags in each hand seeming to round her shoulders even more than normal as she struggled along the street. Mark felt his stomach flip and a frown start to form on his face. He'd done quite well recently at avoiding the old bag since that altercation about her cats shitting in his garden and, yes, he knew it wasn't exactly her fault, she had no control over where her cats chose to empty their bowels, but she deserved a hard time after the fuss she'd made about the cars parked outside her house when he and Julie had had their moving-in party. What difference did it make to her? She didn't even have a car and it wasn't like there was a constant stream of visitors to her house. No, she was just plain awkward, and Mark had wasted no time in showing her that two could play at that game.

“Well, now's your chance to clear the air. Make a fresh start with her.”

'No way,' Mark spat the thought at the clippers. 'Not her. I'll be nice to anybody except her. She's horrible.'

'Perhaps she's just lonely.'

'Well, duh! That's because nobody likes her.'

No reply. Mark shook his head and comforted himself with the thought that she wouldn't want to speak to him any more than he wanted to speak to her – look, she was deliberately looking down to the ground, ignoring him – so by avoiding passing the time of day with her, he was in actual fact, doing something good. This way they would both be happy.

But as she drew level with him, she raised her eyes and caught him looking straight at her, and for a moment, Mark was taken aback by the look in her eyes. Gone was that contentious, mean expression he had been subjected to before and which he somehow always expected to be plastered on her face; instead he saw a tired and sad old lady and without quite understanding why or how, Mark felt something stir deep inside him. Without quite understanding why or how, without thinking about it even, Mark felt an unexpected smile form on his face.

“Morning Mrs Clayton. Here, let me help you with those bags.”

The startled look on the old lady's face soon blossomed into a smile which somehow felt to warm Mark from the inside out as he took the bags off her and walked slowly back to her house with her.

“That's very kind of you,” Mrs Clayton said after she'd managed to get her breath back.

“It's no problem,” Mark replied, pushing her dilapidated gate open with his hip and catching an unmistakable look of embarrassment flash across the old lady's face.

“Oh, you must excuse the state of my garden,” she started with an awkward laugh, “I just can't keep up with it these days, what with my arthritis and everything. Mr Clayton would turn in his grave if he could see how neglected it is now. Used to take such pride in it, you know, a bit like you. Your garden's always so neat and pretty.”

Mark followed her gaze down the road to his own garden and nodded.

“Well, I must admit, I do like gardening. Julie always reckoned it was the only thing I was any good at and I suppose she was right. You should see the state of the inside of the house.”

He flinched as Mrs Clayton let out a surprisingly loud laugh.

“Oh, I bet it's not so bad! And how is your lovely girlfriend? I've not see her for a while.”

“Erm, well, things didn't work out between us and she left me.”

Actually, when he put it like that, Mark realised it didn't sound so bad. Just one of those things, that was all. And his usual compulsion to add the word “bitch” was strangely absent.

“Ah, well,” was all that Mrs Clayton said, but she gave his arm a quick squeeze before leading the way down her weed-covered path. The rockery, too, was over-run with dandelions, grass and unruly ferns, the rosebushes looked sad and depressed, and Mark could hardly bear to look at the lawn.

“Go on! You know what to do.”

“What? No, I haven't got time. I've got to find a job, you know.”

“Un-prompted acts of kindness are the key, remember.”

“Yes, yes, whatever. It'll have to be later, though.”

“Sorry dear, did you say something?”

Mark shook his head.

“Well, would you like a cup of tea?”

“Go on! You know it's the right thing to do. Offer. NOW!”

Mark groaned inwardly.

“That would be lovely, thank you. And I was wondering, Mrs Clayton, if you like, that is, I could, well, what I mean is – would you like me to do some gardening for you? I'm not working today, so if you like...”

“Oh, bless you! Would you? Really? That would be such a help to me. Thank you. I'll go and put the kettle on.”

*******************

It didn't take him long and at just turned half-past one, Mark cast a satisfied look around the now well-tended garden as he made his way back up the path on his way home. He hadn't thought about his job situation, his financial worries, or Julie in all the time he'd been working on Mrs Clayton's garden, and he had to admit that felt good. He felt good. He'd even enjoyed chatting with the old lady as he ate the cheese sandwiches she'd insisted on making for lunch. Yes, it was surprisingly true – doing something good felt...well...good.

“Well, we must say, we're impressed, Mark. This morning's efforts have been nothing short of sensational. Just remember, what you give out, you get back multiplied, so keep it up.”

But Mark's attention had been distracted by the sight of a tow-truck outside his drive and for a second, he froze in horror unable to move as he watched his beloved 5 Series being towed away.

Then he snapped.

“OI!” He hollered, legs finally moving into a sprint, “get back here. That's my car. Get back here now!”

“Try paying your monthly instalments once in a while, mate,” the driver yelled out of the window and laughed as he drove off.

“What? Who the hell do you think you are? You've no right...bring me my car back. NOW!”

But the only response was a raised middle finger out of the window before the truck turned left at the end of the road and disappeared, along with Mark's BMW.

“SHIT!!” He screeched to the sky, then yanked his nail clippers out of his pocket and glared at them.

“What you give out you get back, eh?” He hissed. “I spend all morning doing an old lady's garden, for free, thinking nice happy-happy, joy-joy thoughts, and this is what I get back? Well stuff that, and stuff you. I don't know why I ever listened to you in the first place.”

Mark didn't think they answered, but he wouldn't have heard them anyway due to the blood pumping in his ears as he tried his hardest not to start crying in the middle of the street. Shouting and cursing had been bad enough. He had to try to maintain some semblance of dignity, besides he could see Mrs Clayton out of the corner of his eye watching from her doorway. He made it back home, chucked the clippers into the cutlery drawer out of sight, flopped down on the sofa in the lounge and stared into space.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting there when he heard the quiet knock on the kitchen door, but he ignored it. He ignored it the next 3 times, too but when the caller was clearly not going to take the hint, he marched into the kitchen, ready to fly at whoever was disturbing him.

He could see Mrs Clayton standing there through the glass panels, looking serious, and in his paranoid state of mind, by the time he unlocked the door, he had convinced himself she had come to complain about his loud and vulgar outburst in the street. Well, just dare her to say one thing...

“Ah Mark. I was beginning to wonder if you'd gone out.”

Mark shook his head stiffly.

“Now, I hope you don't think me an old busy-body, but well, I saw what happened earlier with your car and how upset you were...”

“Mrs Clayton, the last thing I need right now is you giving me a hard time. I know it's not polite to stand, cursing in the street but I just snapped. I'm up to my ears in debt and I lost my job yesterday, all right?”

Mrs Clayton nodded.

“I thought as much. I noticed you were home early yesterday and you kept changing the subject at lunchtime whenever I asked about your work, so I just put two and two together. Oh dear, I am an old busy-body aren't I?”

She chuckled for a moment before continuing.

“Anyway, I got to thinking and I remembered that last Sunday after church, we were all talking about how difficult it is to find reasonable, reliable help – especially gardening – when you're old and on your own, like most of us in the congregation are. Mr Jenkins has just sacked his gardener, caught him stealing you know. Do you know Mr Jenkins?”

Mark shook his head and leaned against the door-jamb.

“Lives up at Hainworth Hall. Made a fortune in the sheet metal industry somehow...”

“ Oh, that Mr Jenkins.”

“Yes. Well, I took the liberty of phoning him to find out if he'd replaced his gardener yet and when he said he hadn't, I said I knew someone who might be interested.”

Mark felt his eyes widen.

“Anyway, he only needs someone for 3 days a week, but I know he'll pay you well, and I'm sure you'd have no problem finding a few more gardens to do – there's mine for a start. You could have a nice, little business up and running before long.”

She stopped suddenly and peered at his face.

“Oh, what a silly old woman I am. Of course you're not interested in gardening for a living, you're one of those professional types. Suits and ties and everything. It was just a silly idea, forgive me.”

But Mark was shaking his head. “No, no, I am interested! It's a wonderful idea, I just don't know why I didn't think of it before. I hate working in offices, I´ve always hated working in offices, but gardening for a living...now that would be perfect.”

Mrs Clayton smiled in obvious relief.

“So, should I contact Mr Jenkins for an interview, then?”

“Oh no, dear. He says he interviewed the last one and look what happened there. No, he's happy to trust my judgement and says if you´re interested you can start tomorrow. He's got all his own tools of course, top of the range I dare say, so you just need to take yourself. Might have to get the bus, mind.”

Mark started laughing, amazed that he could actually see something funny about his car-less situation, but suddenly it didn't seem so important. And as Mrs Clayton turned to give him a quick wave from the top of the drive, he was struck by the fleeting yet powerful understanding of how quickly things could change; how nothing was permanent and how you might as well just be happy going with the flow because you never knew what was around the corner. Which was kind of what his nail-clippers had been telling him, he supposed.

He dashed to the cutlery drawer to retrieve them and standing at the pedal-bin, started clipping again, this time in excitement and happiness, rather than the anger of the previous night.

“ So, it seems I under-estimated you, you clever little clippers, you! I wish you'd started talking to me years ago, might have made my life a lot easier, and you know, I'm actually quite getting into all this lovey-dovey stuff. Who would have believed it? Let me ask you something, though, did you know this was going to happen all along?”

But there was no answer, and Mark smiled sadly remembering their deal that if he kept to his side of the bargain, they would leave him alone. Now, just a few short hours later and here he was, wishing that they would talk to him again. Who would have believed it? Who would have believed that he was actually going to miss that little voice? What if he forgot all this nicey-nicey malarkey and slipped back into his old ways? What if he needed them to stop him turning back into the grumpy old people-hater he used to be? What if he couldn't do it without them?

He was studying his hands as these doubts flew around his head, and was suddenly struck with another thought. Gardening gloves. He'd need his gloves for his new job tomorrow. He went straight to the shed to root out the pair he'd bought last week and, so far, used only once. Strange that he'd had that sudden compulsion to buy a new pair.

“Almost as if I knew,” he muttered to himself as he flung them onto the worktop next to the door, so that he wouldn't forget them in the morning.

“Of course you knew. You know more than you think. There´s a quiet, little voice communicating with you all day long if you´ll only listen.”

...said the gardening gloves.

Bad Habits & Negative Patterns

2009-12-15T06:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas seems as good a time as any to tackle the subject of bad habits and negative patterns, as they do tend to rear their ugly heads big time during the holiday season.

Or do they? It´s all too easy to beat ourselves up for drinking too much, eating too much, partying too hard and spending way too much money but, as with all things in life, there is a more positive way to view all of this.

The first step is to stop seeing these so-called “ugly” aspects of ourselves as quite so...well...ugly. Instead of being hard on ourselves, or vehemently denying any of those aspects that we might be ashamed of or unhappy with, we could always try chuckling a bit to ourselves and saying something along the lines of “there I go again (overspending, overdrinking etc). There are undiscovered tribes in the heart of the Amazon rainforest who knew I´d do that.” And see how that feels. It´s not being flippant, it´s just a way of not taking things too seriously – which is always the healthiest option – and of freeing up all that energy you would have wasted feeling bad so that you can put it to better use.

In this way, our supposed vices lose their power over us and we give ourselves the space to see them in their true colours. We all have elements of ourselves that we would like to be different and when we are disappointed in ourselves, or feel like we´ve let ourselves (and perhaps others) down through repeating the same patterns, then that´s actually a very helpful tool – nothing less than our subconscious, or the Tao, giving us a nudge and letting us know that we could be doing things differently now if we wanted, and that the new way would be for our highest good. We could be even better than we are, in other words. Now, that´s not something to get upset and angry about, is it? Surely that´s a good thing!

But, for the most part, deeply ingrained habits, behavioural patterns and addictions, are not going to be changed overnight. So, patience with ourselves is crucial. Once you´ve noticed a negative pattern you´d like to change, immediately stop seeing it as a negative pattern. Start to see it as an opportunity to grow into the ideal vision of your perfect self. This is difficult and your monkey mind will bring it up at every available opportunity should you let it, so rather than fight this or dwell on it, the best retaliation is to focus on something else. What we focus on grows – so if we focus on the thing we want to quit doing, that will grow and we´ll do it all the more. Fact. If we focus on us NOT doing the thing (for instance, if you want to stop smoking, don´t battle the temptation for a ciggie, instead try to see yourself in your mind´s eye - especially on the occasions you would likely be smoking – as a non-smoker, having equally as good a time...better in fact...than if you were puffing away) then that is what will grow and eventually – it might take a bit of time, it depends on how focused and determined you are – that will naturally become your reality.

For a double-whammy effect on this business of what we focus on grows, another neat trick is to consciously remind yourself of all the good things you are doing – how well you are doing in other areas of your life. Taking the smoking example again – let´s say you smoke, but you have a healthy diet. Acknowledge yourself for that, then up it – make your diet even healthier, drink more water and start some kind of exercise plan. Focusing on that and giving yourself a regular good old pat on the back will make that positive side of you, the part of you that takes good care of your body and enjoys feeling healthy, grow until eventually, that will outweigh the negative effects of the smoking and more than likely, you´ll find yourself naturally and effortlessly packing in the ciggies. And even if not, you´re still doing more good by balancing it at least with something healthy, rather than beating yourself up or stressing yourself out making (probably) unrealistic New Year´s Resolutions to quit.

That´s just one example, of course, in a myriad scenarios. We all know what our own negative patterns are and more than likely, they will surface at some point during the holiday season! Whether we drink too much, eat too much, spend too much, party too hard, try too hard to please everybody, feel overly sorry for ourselves or snog too many work colleagues at the office party, we can choose, if we want, to let ourselves off the hook and focus instead on the good. And there is always good to be found.

The end of the year is always a good time to look back and take stock, so make a point of thinking about everything you´ve achieved this year. Write it all down. No doubt, there will be some big achievements that spring to mind straight away, but don´t forget to give yourself credit for the simpler, supposedly smaller, things too. We can never know the extent the smallest of our actions - a smile, a helping hand crossing a road, giving up a bus seat, giving a euro to a homeless person, standing up for someone – might have had on another person´s life and if a particular situation springs to mind, something that made you feel all warm and nice inside when you did it, then that´s an achievement. Get it on your list. At first, you´ll struggle to think of many things as your monkey mind tries to convince you this is a load of old cobblers, but stick with it and once you get into the flow, you´ll be surprised at just how long your list will grow.

When you have the proof there in front of you of just how well you are doing, and of all of your achievements, this should go somewhere towards getting it all into perspective. At the end of the day, there will always be some part of ourselves we´re not happy with – some habit or pattern – but as long as we are working on ourselves to be the best that we can be, and as long as our positive output exceeds the negative, then we´re doing all right. We´re still here, after all, hurtling through space at break-neck speed, on a little, blue planet with another 7 billion people so we can´t be doing too badly!

I wish you all a sparkling, magical time over the holidays, everybody – and let´s make that our new pattern for the whole of 2010. Sparkly magic!!

Merry Christmas! :)

Healing Loved Ones

2009-12-05T05:51:00.000-08:00

It´s important, first and foremost, to understand exactly what we mean when we talk about healing.

Healing, literally, means to make whole; to see mind, body and spirit as one unified whole. And this is extremely difficult when we are dealing with loved ones who are suffering.

We desperately want to make them better, and the tendency (quite naturally) is to focus on the ailment. However, if we can, in the midst of our own emotions, remember that what we focus on grows, then we are in a much stronger position to do as much good as we possibly can.

Instead of seeing your loved one as someone suffering from cancer, or someone whose arthritis is causing them great pain, or whose depression seems to be getting worse, remind yourself that they, like all of us, are nothing less than a perfect expression of the Tao in human form. They are much more than their physical body, or their physical symptoms – they are divine sparks of light, spiritual beings here having their human experience.

This is crucial if we want to move away from the panicky, helpless feelings that threaten to take over when someone we care about is ill. The more we panic, the more we project that onto them and we run the risk of actually doing more harm than good. This is not to say that we are uncaring or unfeeling – far from it – our own feelings and fears are bound to surface and this is natural and healthy, but at the time when we are consciously giving healing, these have to be held in check.

You might be giving healing to your loved one by a formal hands-on treatment if they´re happy with that, or you might be doing it remotely if that is more appropriate. Distance/remote healing is every bit as powerful as a one-on-one, and the same principles apply.

First of all, bring your attention to yourself. Yes, yourself! Spend a few moments quietening your mind and feeling the energy of the universe moving through you, as it always is, but really try to tune into it. Now, ask – simply ask – for this universal energy to be charged with healing powers both for yourself and your loved one. At this point, you might start to feel a bit of a tingling in your palms and your feet, you might start to feel slightly warmer – there is no hard and fast rule, but once you feel some kind of connection, give thanks and state quite bluntly (no need for flowery explanations here) that your intention is to work with this energy for the purposes of healing name of loved one.

If you are with the person, place your hands on them wherever feels right – they might stay in one position, or you might feel you want to move them round. Don´t think about it or what it means, just go with it. If you are at a distance, imagine doing it. Make sure you are breathing deep into your abdomen and start now to visualise.

Imagine soothing golden light totally surrounding both you and your loved one as the two of you experience this healing together. Know that you are perfectly safe. Then ask for this healing-imbued energy to flow into the person´s physical body, to whatever part of the body would benefit most from it. Ask for all blockages, all areas of stuck energy to be replaced now by this wonderful flow of healing energy and for the person to receive healing on all levels – mind, body and spirit.

This is just a guide – what I felt guided to write at this moment – when you are tuned into the universal flow of healing energy, you will find yourself silently saying exactly the right words and exactly the right visualisations will be strong in your mind. You may picture angels, spirit guides, fairies, you might hear healing sounds, or see lights. You may see nothing at all, it may just be a sensation – it doesn´t matter – just be open to whatever happens, safe in the knowledge that your request has been heard and is being acted upon.

Then comes the hard bit. Whether you are healing a loved one who has a headache, or a serious disease, you have to let go and trust the process. It is not our job to specify the outcome, what is important is the intention to heal, to make whole in whatever way is for our loved one´s highest and greatest good. So, avoid begging or pleading for the person to “get better” - remember, healing means make whole, not make better and as twisted as it sounds, our interpretation of “better” might not actually be for our loved one´s highest good at that time. For instance, if there appears to be no improvement to, say, a headache or an upset stomach, perhaps the most beneficial thing for them is a break from work, or to avoid going out that evening. The healing energy, the person´s body-wisdom, spirit and the Tao know best – not us – and we have to trust that, even when we are dealing with something more serious, even terminal. The purpose of our healing should be to assist on all levels, not to interfere with another soul´s journey by our own needs, wishes and what we see as “best” for the person getting in the way. This is the highest form of healing, the greatest gift we can possibly give. It is the only true form of healing.

OK, so that was a bit of a heavy one today, wasn´t it? When I decide to write a column, I just sit quietly first and ask what would be the most useful thing to write about today, and then I go with the first answer to come to me, so I´m not sure why I was guided to write this one, but no doubt there is a good reason.

And who I am to argue? :)

Sending love & healing energy to you all.

The Inner-Saboteur

2009-11-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

When it was my fifth birthday, I behaved so badly that my mother said I could never have another birthday party again. There is a photo of me that day, surrounded by my little friends, with my arms crossed, scowling at the camera. The problem was, one of the other kids had just won at Pin the Tail on the Donkey and I was furious. This was my party, surely I should win everything.

The inner saboteur is just like that naughty little girl; not content with cards, gifts, party and cake, she´s got to win all the games, too. There is no pleasing the inner saboteur. No matter how well we are doing, no matter how good things are, the inner saboteur will always turn up, usually as we are just about to fall asleep and nudge us awake with a sudden shout of....

“that´s all well and good, but you haven´t done so-and-so yet. And what about when you made a fool of yourself doing this. And don´t forget, you should still be feeling guilty about that.”

There is absolutely no getting away from the inner saboteur – it´s a part of us – so the best thing we can do for starters is to accept it; to realise that it´s just yin & yang at play and there has got to be some element of dark in light (just as there is always some element of light in dark) because it´s impossible to have one without the other. The inner saboteur is just playing the role of the dark, the yin, that is absolutely necessary to keep our lives in balance – so really, we should be thanking it.

That doesn´t, however, mean that we have to give in to it and let it take over. Ignoring it or getting angry with it never works – it will just shout all the louder. The most effective thing to do is to face up to it, confront it. Explain that you understand it has a job to do, but things are going to be different from now on. You are in control, and everything is just fine and dandy. It can chill out and enjoy the ride. Think of it as a child and you as an adult soothing it.

It will take some work, the inner saboteur will not be convinced straight away and will continue to play up so it´s your job to work at reassuring it. As we know, what we focus on grows, so rather than indulging it when it starts to whine, immediately turn your attention to the positive, the light, the yang elements going on in your life.

By focusing on the good and patting ourselves on the head for all of our achievements, we are not pushing the inner saboteur away so it will not feel that its nose has been put out of joint. Little by little, the positive grows and the light naturally starts to override the dark. At this point, the inner saboteur is still there, but is far more quiet and settled, and our lives generally become much more light-filled and joyful.

Above all, the key to dealing with the inner saboteur is to not take it too seriously. That´s why it´s effective to view it as an attention-seeking child. It´s all part of the game of life, it keeps everything interesting and stops us from becoming complacent or too “up in the clouds” all the time.

Once it understands the rules, it will start to behave itself, just as I did all those years ago. My mother´s threat was lifted due to my angelic behaviour from then on (!!??), my 6th birthday party was a roaring success, and I didn´t play up once. Not even when one of my friends sat on the cake.

But that´s another story :)

Self-Motivation

2009-11-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

Oh, I don´t know if I can be bothered writing this!!

Only joking...although I have to admit I am feeling a tad tired today after an unusually poor night´s sleep, so I figure this is as good a day as any to write about self-motivation.

Perhaps the best way to look at this whole business of motivating ourselves, is to first of all ask what is stopping us from feeling motivated in the first place? It´s all too easy to flippantly blame “laziness” or “idleness” - we do love to beat ourselves up after all. But when you stop and think about it a little bit deeper, there is always something else going on beneath the surface.

For the most part, lack of motivation usually stems from fear; fear that we will be unable to cope with something, or won´t be able to complete it; fear that we will fail or do a bad job; fear that it won´t work out quite as we expected and we will have to admit we were wrong; fear that people will laugh at us and we´ll look silly. But as Stephen King says (and I am paraphrasing here) “getting started is the hard part, after that the rest is easy”.

So, let´s get started!

I find Qi Gong exercises the best to get me motivated, but anything that gets the energy flowing around the body and the mind is good – a quick boogie in the lounge to an uplifting tune, a jog around the block, a shower, scalp massage – whatever works for you, but it should be something you enjoy that´s going to make you feel good. Couple the activity with (yes, you guessed it) affirmations – something along the lines of “I am filled with motivated energy. I am charged with energised chi,” and within a very short space of time – less than 5 minutes – you´ll be starting to feel a slight buzz of enthusiasm.

Next, visualise yourself having done whatever it is you were so un-motivated to do, feeling chuffed to bits with yourself and telling someone you care about “you know what? I really wasn´t in the mood, but once I got started, it was easy and I loved every minute.” Try to feel as strongly as possible the relief, the pride, the excitement, the happiness, the sense of achievement you´ll feel...as this is true motivation. We all want to feel like that as much as possible, don´t we?

Having said that, there are inevitably times when we absolutely do not want to do a particular thing and sometimes this has nothing to do with motivation at all. Sometimes, it simply might not be right, might not be in our best interests or for our highest goods to do a certain thing at a certain time. It´s important to tell the difference. When our inner voice is advising us against doing something, the message will be calm and soft with an overriding sense of easiness about the decision. Putting a note in our planner to remind us to do it another day feels like the natural, sensible thing to do and almost immediately, we will feel prompted to do something else – something that will prove to be a more constructive and appropriate use of our time and energy at that moment.

In other words, follow where your inner voice and your energy is leading you. Go with the flow and you won´t go far wrong. As my hubby is fond of saying “don´t yin when you should yang and don´t yang when you should yin”.

Wise words indeed!

Until next time....Namaste.

Kicking self-doubt´s butt!

2009-11-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

Self-doubt arises when we don´t trust ourselves. We don´t think we´re good enough, talented enough, attractive enough, important enough, intelligent enough, rich enough, young enough, old enough...I could go on, but you get my drift.

And that´s OK. Seriously, it is. Self-doubt is, for the vast majority of us (I might even be so bold as to say all of us) unavoidable at certain times in our lives, so we might as well make the most of it, don´t you think? Because, believe it or not, if we so choose we can, in fact, let it work with us rather than against us, and here´s how.

If we keep on remembering the universal law of yin & yang – the ever present spot of light in the dark and dark in the light – then we realise that the things we see and categorise as “bad” are never totally that, any more than the things we see and categorise as “good” are never totally that either. There is always some good in bad and some bad in good. Whichever we choose to focus on is the element that will grow.

So, when it comes to self-doubt, if we can accept that it does have its positive elements, its helpful side, then we´re getting somewhere. All that self-doubt is trying to do at the end of the day is to protect us, to save us from possible failure, humiliation, destitution, maybe even death. It might have a tendency to take itself terribly seriously and be a bit of a drama-queen, but it amounts to no more than a well-intentioned warning that “things just might go wrong you know.”

Seen in that light, it doesn´t seem all that bad, does it? It´s when we let it spiral out of control, when we allow our monkey-mind´s incessant chattering to plunge us into the murky waters of self-pity and self-sabotage that it becomes a hindrance in our lives and, at those times, it is advisable to kick its butt.

The next time self-doubt creeps up on you, view it as an opportunity to regain your confidence, to affirm your intention and your power to the universe. It needn´t stop you in your tracks, fill you with fear and make you feel like a victim, useless and powerless to instigate any change in your life. You are in control and you are choosing to do things differently from now on. Hold an image in your mind´s eye of the outcome you are intending. See yourself successfully having accomplished whatever it is you are intending to accomplish. You don´t even need to know how you did it, just see yourself wherever it is you intend to be, feeling however you intend to feel, looking however you intend to look, succeeding at whatever you intend to succeed at. If the image isn´t all that clear, don´t worry, focus rather on the emotions that this scenario causes and feel them all as fully as possible. Enjoy them!

It´s a simple choice; focus on the dark or focus on the light. They will always both be present, but as I said before (and it´s well worth repeating because it´s the truth) what we focus on grows.

In other words, self-doubt can be an enemy, or an ally. It´s up to us.

And even though we can kick its butt, we can never knock it out of the ring completely.

Which, all things considered, is probably a good thing.

Breaking Free from Restrictive Situations

2009-10-27T06:02:00.000-07:00

The good news is – there is no such thing as a restrictive situation. The bad news is – we just don´t (or won´t) believe it.

The illusion of reality is so strong that we honestly believe that certain situations, certain people, certain groups of people “out there” have some kind of hold over us and are the ones restricting us. And that, quite simply, is not the case.

Whilst it might appear on the surface that we are stuck in this mind-numbing job because (sharp inhale) how else would we pay the bills; whilst there may seem to be no way out of the abusive relationship we´ve tolerated for years; whilst we “just couldn´t” upsticks and move out of the two-horse town our family has lived in for generations; whilst we would never have the nerve to suggest a Yoga retreat as the annual holiday with our friends, instead of the obligatory week-long drinking binge in Iyanapa – what we need to understand is that all restrictions are self-imposed. They are inside us, not “out there”. And given that, as universal law dictates (whether we like it or believe in it or not), the outer world reflects our inner state of being, then it would seem to make sense to change the situation from the inside – in other words, change how we perceive the situation in our mind´s eye – and watch outer reality follow suit. Wouldn´t it? Good....

I know I rattle on and on in these columns about the power of affirmations, but what can I tell you...I do them all the time and they work. ´Nuff said. So, it should come as no surprise that my first suggestion, if you´re serious about breaking free from whatever restrictions you are experiencing in your life, is the following affirmation which I learned from Barefoot Doctor at his Global Meditation & Dub Spirit events.

“I am free to do whatever I choose. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.”

Over and over again – it´s a good one to chant in your head (or under your breath...even at the top of your voice if the fancy takes you) whilst walking, I´ve found. By keeping on affirming this with as much feeling behind it as you can muster, you are in effect stating to the Tao, the Universe, your Higher Self, God/dess, the Divine (whatever your preferred term for the Absolute) that you are now living in a state of trust and faith that the miracle, the gift of your being alive here and now was not to make you suffer or struggle, or to restrict you in any way. We are divine sparks of light, perfect expressions of the Tao in human form – how can that ever be restricted? Think about it. It can´t!

If you are feeling restricted in any area of your life, it is a sign that there is something better awaiting you. It is nothing less than an opportunity to move forward, to grow, to achieve your full potential, to attain your perfect fulfilment and satisfaction – you deserve no less and rest assured, this is what the Tao expressing itself through you wants.

So, welcome the restrictions – or at least acknowledge them. Then spend time visualising yourself in your mind´s eye, completely free of all restrictions – feeling relieved and exhilarated and immensely grateful for the way things have turned out. And here´s the tricky bit for us control-freak humans – DO NOT try to figure out the hows and whys – you don´t need to know HOW it will all work out (this will only get in the way of the power behind this visualisation because your rational mind will end up talking you out of it by telling you how this couldn´t possibly work because of that blah blah blah) – you just need to put out the message to the universe that you trust that it WILL all work out. And you know why that is....it´s because that´s the universe´s job – to sort out the details and shift reality about so that your affirmations and visualisations manifest in the “real” world in the best possible way for you and everyone else concerned.

It´s the expert at it.

We´re rubbish at it.

So, just ask it to do it and let it get on with it.

And above all, as you find these perceived restrictions suddenly magically and effortlessly overcome, as you find yourself naturally flowing more easily in your life, don´t forget to maintain an attitude of gratitude.

To everyone and everything in your life.

To all that is.

Always.

Lighten up!

2009-10-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

I´ve got to tell you that I started writing this column yesterday, but gave up on it after an hour or so of struggling to make it sound anything like interesting. It was only after I´d walked away from my computer in a huff, convinced that I would never write anything of any worth ever again, that the irony hit me. Here I was, writing a column on lightening up....and taking it oh so very seriously!

And that´s the whole point, isn´t it? The times we need to lighten up are the times when we are taking ourselves seriously – and as human beings, we tend to do that quite a lot. But the simple fact is that no matter what appears to “happen” to us, it´s how we choose to respond, how we choose to view it, that has the power to make us feel this way or that – not the actual happening itself. We can choose to let that shop assistant who was so rude to us earlier put us in a bad mood for the rest of the day; we can choose to let one perceived failing or embarrassment knock our confidence; we can choose to allow the odd let-down or disappointment to shake our faith in human nature...or, we can acknowledge the experience, then choose to focus on the positive, the good experiences, the good people and the success we´ve known in our lives.

This, I suppose is pretty basic day-to-day stuff – but what about when something really huge happens? Something that, no matter how you look at it, is bad, unexpected and unwelcome in your life? I´m certainly not suggesting that every major event or upset be handled with a forced laugh or chin-up type mentality. On the contrary, it is crucial to allow all the pain and all the sadness to come to the surface, otherwise it will fester and cause a whole host of other problems to arise. Unresolved issues and swept-under-the-carpet feelings, on an energetic level, never disappear. What we need to understand is that everything happens for a reason, to teach us something, to give us the gift of learning and growing. Again, how we choose to handle these kinds of situations is entirely up to us. Lightening up does not mean being flippant, or ignoring something that is upsetting to us. It means dealing with it consciously, figuring out what help we need and then actively seeking it.

The Universal Law of Yin and Yang is ever present. What this means is that when things are at their darkest, when we are feeling at our worst, as difficult as it may be to believe at the time, a period of light has already started. Fact. If we can allow ourselves to trust in this and not be too overwhelmed, too engrossed in our negative feelings, then we are more open to accept the light when it starts to shine on us, as inevitably it will.

Conversely, when things are at a peak – when everything is wonderful for us – this heralds a period of dark commencing. This is not depressing, not something we should dread, it´s simply something very useful to bear in mind. The trick is not to take either too seriously. If we can remain in a state of grace and gratitude whether we are in a “dark” time or a “light” time, safe in the knowledge that “this too shall pass” and not get too carried away with the drama of being either over-excited when things are “good”, or over-depressed when things are “bad” then we are in the flow of life and the more easily we can handle anything.

We are not taking ourselves too seriously.

And if you do find yourself succumbing to seriousness and heaviness, here´s an affirmation that works for me (and I do have a tendency to take myself seriously if I don´t keep an eye on myself!)

“I am love and light”.

Because, of course, that´s what we are – divine sparks of light. Whatever happens in your life, remember that, and remember also the lovely quote:

“Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”

Love and light(ness) to you all. :)

Self-Healing

2009-10-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

Self-healing is one of those funny things – we don´t really think about doing it until something goes wrong and we find ourselves sick.

Perhaps it´s something to do with our system of medicine in the west – I mean, we only go to the doctors after we actually become ill. When was the last time you visited your local GP and said “no, everything´s fine thanks, doc. I was just wondering if there was a prescription you could give me to help me keep it that way”? So, we´re used to paying attention to our bodies only when they are displaying unpleasant or frightening symptoms.

What we need to understand is that by the time we get to that stage – by the time we are sick – our bodies have, in fact, been giving us warnings and messages which we have ignored or misunderstood, so the only alternative left is for them to stop us in our tracks, make us ill and make us do something about it. Wouldn´t it make more sense if we could just take a few moments each day to consciously tune into our bodies and listen to what they´re trying to tell us – and thereby prevent many of the illnesses we fall prey to? This is the core of true self-healing.

And...it´s easy.

I found myself naturally starting to do this as I was doing my Reiki attunements – although you certainly don´t need to be a Reiki healer – or any other kind of qualified healer for that matter – to practice this. It´s just common sense. Get into the habit of noticing what´s going on in your body. For instance, if your shoulders get sore after a while sitting at your computer, you might want to change your posture and expand everything a little bit. If you find yourself feeling bloaty at the end of the day, perhaps it´s a message to drink more water. If your chest feels tight in certain situations or in the company in certain people, it might be a good idea to focus on breathing deeply into your abdomen. Persistent heartburn could well be a sign that you´re eating too much rich, spicy food. Lower back pain in a morning might be a message to change your mattress. Simple things – but noticing them and taking action could prevent a whole host of unpleasant and unnecessary nastiness.

Prevention is better than cure, as they say, and I believe them. Our bodies are always on our side; they know what is best for them and for us. And if we could take this a stage further and spend a few moments, preferably each day, visualising a beam of golden light from the universe, entering us through our crown chakra, flowing naturally down our bodies, gently but firmly coursing through any areas of stuck energy, any areas of dis-ease or potential dis-ease and replacing them immediately with healing energy for our highest and greatest good, then we could save ourselves a whole host of possible problems. We become stronger and more in tune with our bodies and our health.

Regular practice of something like Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Yoga or swimming – something that aligns the breath with the movement of the body and gets the chi flowing healthily around the body are also wonderful tools in the self-healing process.

But of course, there might come times when, with the best will in the world, we get ill as I found out myself just the other day. We´d been out to a restaurant with my parents, for a farewell dinner on the last night of their visit here and even though we´d throughly enjoyed our meals, both me and my hubby woke up through the night with chronic pains in our stomachs and...not wanting to be too graphic...an urgent need for the bathroom – an experience that proved most unpleasant for both of us! This continued for a good couple of days, leaving us feeling drained and decidedly off-colour. Now, these kinds of things can´t be avoided – sometimes shit happens (pun intended!). But, if we are strong to start with, we can handle it much better and more healthily. It´s important at times like these to accept you´re feeling lousy and be gentle with yourself. Keep visualising that stream of healing energy fighting the negative and doing you good. Ask it directly to do so and trust that it will.

Maintaining a sense of gratitude also helps enormously. If one part of your body is feeling sick, send it love and healing, then focus on and give thanks for another part that is functioning well and healthily. Focus on all the blessings of your life and I guarantee that before long, that gratitude and positivity will have an impact on the not-so good aspects.

For now, even though Mike and I are far from recovered from our stomach upsets, I´m choosing to focus on giving thanks for all the things working well within my body.

And above all, I give thanks for the fact that we have two bathrooms in our house!!!

Sending healing light and love to everyone reading this.

Namaste.

Stepping out of your Comfort Zone

2009-10-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Now, why on earth would we want to do that? Isn´t being in our comfort zone all kind of comfortable and comforting? Well, yes, for a while, but Clint Eastwood summed it up nicely in an interview I saw with him recently. He said that when he was a child his father had told him that you either expand or decay - “and I didn´t want to decay.” You have to admit, it seems to have worked well for him, and I figured, if it´s good enough for Clint, then it´s good enough for us.

We stay in our comfort zones due to the stories we are telling ourselves about our lives, our capabilities, our talents, our weaknesses, our backgrounds – and countless other elements that we perceive as making up “us” and our place in the world. And for the most part, this is a pretty limited vision – partly due to the fact that a lot of our beliefs about ourselves are inherited from parents, teachers, family, friends and other influential people in our lives, and it simply doesn´t occur to us to question it; and partly due to our own lack of self-confidence and belief in ourselves.

But that´s all it is – a vision. And we can expand it any time we want, in fact, we all do. Those times we catch ourselves daydreaming about how things could have been, entertaining those fantasies in which we are perfect – the true hero/heroine of our life movie. Come on, don´t pretend you don´t know what I mean...we´ve all used hairbrushes as microphones and sung in front of an adoring, imaginary audience; we´ve all been the one who kicked the bad man´s butt and saved the day - that kind of thing! The reason we inevitably snap ourselves out of these “fantasies” is because it somehow feels easier and safer to stay put. To stay where things are familiar and you´re not venturing out into the land of the unknown.

Wouldn´t it be something, though, if we did just allow ourselves to go with these expanded visions?

Take a quiet few moments and just let your mind expand out and out, and see where it takes you. What is your greatest vision of yourself? It doesn´t matter if your rational mind starts sniggering at you and trying to get you to stop being so ridiculous and please come back to reality right now before you make a complete fool of yourself. It´s important to understand that it´s more than likely this vision will be acting very much like a dream – in other words, more symbolic than literal. What does it mean or signify to you personally? How does it make you feel? For instance, in my mind´s eye, I can hold an arena full of admiring fans enraptured with my amazingly powerful and beautiful voice as I belt out song after song and take the roof off the place. In reality, I´m very self-conscious and completely tone-deaf!! It´s at this stage, if we listen to our rational minds, that we feel stupid at even daring to think such unrealistic thoughts and quickly push them away.

What I´m suggesting is that each of these thoughts is trying to tell us something about ourselves and where we could be heading next, if we want to step out of our comfort zone and fulfil our highest potential. Me standing on stage singing has nothing to do with me standing on stage singing – were I ever to find myself on a stage, microphone in hand, in front of thousands of people, I guarantee I would throw up. No, what it symbolises to me personally is my deep-held wish to have my voice heard, to make people feel better, uplifted, inspired by my words – in reality, words I write, certainly not words I sing!

So, if stepping out of your comfort zone and achieving your highest potential is your thing, allow yourself to think BIG. It´s not childish, it´s not unrealistic and it´s not pointless. You just need to quiet your rational mind enough to hear the true message of your higher self which is concerned only with your highest good and in showing you the next best possible and most empowering step you could take.

Understand.

Trust.

Then go for it!

On Being a People Pleaser

2009-09-30T11:59:00.001-07:00

What exactly is wrong with people pleasing? Why should the words, “s/he´s just a people-pleaser” carry such negative connotations? What´s the alternative – be a people-pisser-off?

Pleasing other people is a wonderful thing to do – as spiritual beings having our human experience, it´s our duty to please each other as much as we possibly can. What we give out, we get back multiplied after all, so it makes life better and more pleasing for everyone. Which is all well and good, but the thing to bear in mind is this...it´s not the actual act – the thing you did or didn´t do, said or didn´t say to the person you pleased – it´s the energy, the motivation behind it that matters. In other words, if your heart isn´t in it, if you don´t genuinely mean it, then you are not acting as your authentic self and in the long run, this pleases no-one. Least of all the Tao.

I suppose what it all boils down to is self-worth. We find ourselves agreeing to things, smiling when we don´t mean it, keeping quiet because we don´t want to rock the boat, letting people off the hook because we´re scared of the consequences if we don´t. We´re scared of disapproval, of confrontation, of being considered mean, of making a fuss and it´s easier to just grin and bear it than to be true to ourselves and do (or not do) what we know is right for us.

But, like I said, people-pleasing for the wrong reasons is fuelled with negative energy and serves no positive purpose whatsoever. Not even to the person you supposedly “pleased” - whatever it was you did to please them is cancelled out by the negativity surrounding it – your feelings of resentment, anger, frustration etc towards them, and eventually, in one guise or another, those energies will come full circle and have a detrimental effect on everyone concerned.

So, it´s best to start by working on your feelings of self-worth. Remind yourself as many times as you remember through the day (and this is a good one to do whilst looking at your own reflection in a mirror) “I matter. I count. I am worthy.” Once your subconscious mind has processed and accepted this as truth, you will naturally know your own worth and feel more confident in declining to please people for pleasing people´s sake.

There will still be times, no doubt, when you find yourself confronted with a situation and you´re teetering between doing what feels right to you and taking the so-called “easy” option and people-pleasing. Try to remember that what this actually is, is a gift from the universe or the Tao, an opportunity to put your best authentic self forward and to act from the heart no matter what other people may think.

And if, now and again (as we all do), you do find yourself agreeing to people pleasing – well, so what? Don´t beat yourself up. Try to look at the situation differently – do whatever it is with as much of your heart as you can and, above all, do not harbour negative thoughts or feelings about the person or people involved. It´s a lesson, a chance for you to get clearer about what is and isn´t right for you. To boost your self-worth. And perhaps next time, you´ll feel more confident about putting your own feelings and truths first.

Remember, when something makes you feel heavy or resentful, your inner voice is trying to tell you you are off-kilter here and no-one benefits in the long run. However, when you are filled with love, lightness, joy and a deep sense of gratitude in being able to be pleasing or helpful to someone – that´s for everyone´s highest good, and opportunities like this should be actively sought out and carried out unconditionally as much as possible. To genuinely please someone is a gift – not just to them, but to you too. It raises your energy vibration and just makes you feel darned good!

But remember above all - you are worthy. You do count.

Yes, I´m talking to you.

And I´m not just saying that to please you. :)

Speaking Your Truth

2009-09-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

OK, I will be the first to admit that, half of the time, I don´t even know what my truth is. I get confused, you see. I like to listen to other people – their opinions, their beliefs, their ways of doing things – and even though, sometimes, these can be completely at odds with my own take on life, I still find myself wondering “hmmm, what if?”

I don´t suppose it´s necessarily a bad thing – being able and willing to see things from someone else´s point of view and taking on board someone else´s opinion. Flexibility is always preferable to a rigid mindset, otherwise we´d never learn or move on. But there comes a point where we have to assimilate all the evidence then ask ourselves what it is we really think of the situation.

It doesn´t matter if you´re dealing with something “minor”, like cancelling the party all your friends were looking forward to because you just don´t feel like it tonight; or if it´s something “big” such as a life-changing experience you´re about to embark on that you know your family and friends won´t understand or approve of. Trying to explain to people the reasons why you have made a particular decision, or chosen a particular path – speaking your truth in other words – is not an easy task.

The first thing that happens is that we start to imagine the responses we will get when we do speak our truth. The criticisms, the ridicule, the anger, the hurt we are sure we will be confronted with. And that leads on to us rehearsing our retaliation – we start to focus on justifying ourselves and being all defensive. We´re more concerned with being “right” than simply explaining how we feel. Unfortunately, the more time and energy we spend in these negative fantasy scenarios, the less connected we become to our truth – to our real motivation for the decisions we´ve made – and the less connected we are to our truth, the less we are able to speak it clearly. What a horrible vicious circle!

The most positive thing we can do – and, in fact, the fairest for everybody involved – is to consciously stop those imaginary confrontations as soon as they start to take over your mind. Breathe deeply and ask your higher self or the Tao to remind you, once again, of your truth. You may find the babble of doubt still continues at the front of your brain for a while, but keep breathing and listen for the quieter, less frantic, gentler voice of truth to whisper its reassurance to you. The more you can tune into this, the clearer your true intentions become and the more likely you will put across your truth, when it comes to the time to speak it, in a calm and confident manner – rather than in a shrill, confrontational, defensive one. Now, that is definitely better for everyone concerned.

At the end of the day, our fear of speaking our truth, or rather, our fear of being misunderstood or criticised, stems from our fundamental need to be approved of at all times. If we can move beyond this, we begin to see that whoever it is we are speaking our truth to, whatever role they are playing in our lives – they have the right to think whatever they want about us and our choices, they have the right to react however they choose. This is not a “to hell with what everybody thinks” type of attitude – this is pure and simple respectful honesty (in sharing your truth with them) and trust (that they´ll deal with it in the best way they can). In other words, you can only speak your truth; you cannot be responsible for other people´s reactions to it.

As much as we´d all like to be all things to all people, to please all the people in our lives all of the time, we have to accept that this is unlikely to be possible. As long as we are not harming another living being on the planet, we are all free to take whatever path we choose, and this is worth us all bearing in mind.

The less judgemental we are ourselves about other people and their decisions, or their truths, the more acceptance we are likely to attract into our own lives.

Living in the Present Moment

2009-09-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

In a Stephen King novel I read recently, one of the characters says “whatever I do, I rush through so I can do something else.” And I knew exactly what they meant – don´t you? If I´m catching up on e-mails, I´m thinking I´d best hurry up so I can clean the bathroom. If I´m doing Qi Gong exercises, shouldn´t I really be doing Yoga? If I´m reading, why am I not writing? If I´m watching a movie, am I missing out on some sparkling night out? I´m even writing this, wondering if I shouldn´t be preparing dinner by now. And I really need to empty the washing machine. And what about that short story I started a while ago.....

In NLP there is a thing called the Time Line. Some people when they think about time as a line (in their mind´s eye) see the past as a point to the left, running to the future which is a point on the right, with the present right in the middle (sometimes left-handed people see it the other way around). Other people see the past as a point behind them running in a line to the future in front of them. This latter group are usually the best at being present, fully engrossed in what they are doing at any one time. Needless to say, I belong to the former – and I´ve found it does help to consciously change the way I visualise time (from side to side to front to back)...when I remember to do it!

There´s a lot to be said about living in the Now, not least of which is the fact that you really do feel more alive. When your mind is all over the place, flitting from one thing to the next, you tend to miss out on what is actually going on right now. The simple fact is that, in any given situation at any time, there is a whole world of beauty, a whole host of things to notice and to fascinate us, if we will only stop for a second and appreciate them. When you think about it, it´s actually quite rude not to and can in fact, be dangerous. Doesn´t it worry anyone else that you can drive a route you take regularly, and not remember the journey when you get there? It´s like sleepwalking and leaves us feeling at best dissatisfied and at worst out of control and vulnerable.

When we are fully present, living consciously as much as we can, we feel more in control, things stop just happening “to” us and our lives become fuller and brighter. The best way to settle ourselves down when our heads start spinning with all that we should be doing, rather than enjoying where we´re actually at, is plain and simple breathing. Honestly! Within seconds, if we focus on our breath, slow it down, make the inhalations and exhalations of equal duration and breathe deeply into the abdomen, everything kind of slots back into place and before you know where you are, you are right back where you are. Doing whatever it is you´re doing. Couple this with the affirmation that you are always in the right place at the right time doing the right thing with the right people for the right result and you´re onto a sure-fire winner. And once you´re back in the zone, in the Now, it´s a good idea to take a look around – notice something you hadn´t seen before about the room (or wherever) you happen to be. Notice how you´re feeling. Notice how the energy feels. I´m willing to bet a small fortune that something new will reveal itself to you, and you´ll find yourself smiling, happy to be exactly where you are and filled with the wonder of it all. Of being alive.

At the end of the day, it´s handy to remember that time is only an illusion anyway – created simply to stop everything from happening all at once and making an almighty mess. Thinking about this for too long, however, can really screw you up, so don´t try to understand how and why – just realise that Now, this very moment is the only thing that is real, the only thing that matters, the only thing you truly have and this should be enough to humble us all into appreciating it and everything that it is bringing to us. Now.

Bear in mind that the Universe or the Tao is communicating with us all day long, and the only way we can hear & see the magic and the messages for our highest good is by being alive. Right here, right now.

And now, if you´ll excuse me, I´ve got to go and get dinner on!

Keeping Yourself Protected from Negative Energy

2009-09-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

The first thing that we really need to get to grips with here, the most important thing to understand, is that energy – negative or otherwise – only ever comes our way as a direct reflection of what energy we have been putting out. What you put out, you get back. Usually multiplied. Think negative thoughts about someone – in other words, put out negative energy – then that negative energy will bounce right back to you (and not necessarily from the person you directed it to in the first place). The flip side to this, of course, is that all good & loving thoughts/energy you beam out will also return to you multiplied. So, you see what I´m getting at here – making sure you keep your thoughts positive and kind is a key factor in keeping you protected from negative energy.

But, come on, there are inevitably times when we feel downright bloody-minded and end up having a good old bitching session about this person, that situation. None of us are saints (and if there are any saints reading this, please get in touch and I will re-write this column!) and living in the World of the Ten Thousands Things (as the Taoists call it) can be confusing, fearful, frustrating and annoying – all the things guaranteed to get our negative juices flowing. All we can do is to be aware of the thoughts and energy we are projecting and if they are not so positive once in a while, to refrain from beating ourselves up and simply acknowledge the fact we are having a bad hair day, then consciously beam out some good vibes to get our balance back.

So whilst it certainly helps to be aware that, on a deep level, we are responsible for all the energy coming our way, I´m sure we´ve all had times in our lives when we´ve been on the receiving end of some-one´s negative energy (a psychic attack, as it were) and we haven´t a clue why. Why should it be that the first time you meet a particular person, you feel hostility emanating from them straight away? Why does this other person always somehow make you feel inadequate, or wind you up? You know the type of thing I´m talking about. Maybe it´s just their issues, perhaps they´re jealous of you, perhaps you inadvertently once said something they took exception to. Who knows? Shit happens. But the one thing we can be sure of is that we will receive a gentle warning from the Tao – a kind of “watch your back here” sensation. And this is tricky, because I believe all of us are a bit paranoid at times and we need to distinguish between the incessant chatter going on in our heads that tells us we are unworthy and the world is a hostile place full of hostile people, and that quiet voice that whispers only truths for our highest good.

The more we can be tuned in at all times to that little voice, the more protected we will be from negative energy. See my article on “Intuition Rocks” for a more in-depth explanation, but in a nutshell, anything in your head that sounds harsh and shrill and makes your stomach flip in a sort of “oh no” fashion is more than likely to be “monkey mind” and should be viewed with suspicion. Anything that comes through quietly and calmly, more from the back of your mind rather than the emotion-fuelled front, and gives you a comforting sense of “a-ha” will be what you truly need to know. The more meditation you do, the more you focus on your breathing (deep into your abdomen and not shallow in your chest), the more Yoga, Qi Gong & Tai Chi you can incorporate into your daily life, the more easily you will be able to attune to your inner voice and the clearer all things will be.

Affirmations and visualisations, as always, are wonderful tools. Start each day visualising a rose-coloured light emanating from your heart. Watch it as it expands and forms a bubble around you. Charge it with the power to allow in only good, loving, healing vibes and to bounce back to the universe any negative energy that may come your way, for it to be refined into something more positive. Then affirm as many times as you can as you go through your day - “I am safe and divinely protected always”.

And it will be so. For you and everyone you come into contact with.

And so it is. :)

Miracles

2009-09-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

The first thing you should know about miracles – and this may come as a bit of a shock – is that they are, in fact, quite natural and not really miraculous at all. Now I´m not dissing miracles here – far from it – I´m merely pointing out that miracles are not just random things that happen to us if we are extremely lucky; no, miracles are (or can be) a standard part of our everyday reality. They are our birthright – a gift from the Tao that we can tune into and instigate whenever we want.

And if we do want to do that, we need to get back into miracle-mindedness – stop seeing miracles as things like winning the lottery or getting your kids to do the dishes, and focus instead on the mind-boggling fact that you are currently on a planet hurtling through space at an astonishing rate of knots and, against all the odds, you are ALIVE. That, my friends, is a miracle! Once we´ve had chance to digest that and fully realise its significance, then we start to see miracles all around us every day and the more we can live in a state of miracle-mindedness, the more miracles come our way.

Of course, there are always times when something happens in our lives and we need a big, fat miracle to help us out. To instigate a miracle, affirmations work really well. Try something like “I am now instigating a miracle in my life to resolve (state issue) easily and gracefully” or more simply, just “I am now expecting miracles in my life”. Then perhaps try a spot of visualisation – seeing yourself in your mind´s eye, excited and grateful at said miracle having occurred and your life now being more in flow as a result – you don´t need to know what form the miracle will come in (in fact, don´t even try to guess – it´s the Tao´s job to sort out the finer details and it might find it quite rude if you start interfering) – just focus on the sense of relief, thankfulness and excitement you will undoubtedly feel once it happens. Then, just get on with your day. Don´t worry about it, don´t even think about it too much, just trust that a miracle is on its way and will occur at exactly the right time. This is difficult, I know, but try to think of it like ordering your food in a restaurant. Once you´ve told the waiter what you want, you don´t keep jumping up every few seconds and dashing to the kitchen just to make sure the chef´s got the order and is preparing your food right, do you? No, you just assume everything is being handled behind the scenes, you relax and look forward to your meal -and the same is true of miracles. Expect them and they will come.

Life was never meant to be a struggle. The Tao knows that and miracles know that, it´s just we humans who have forgotten. Let´s all try to remember as often as possible now, that it is perfectly all right to ask for help, and it´s perfectly all right to expect that help to come to us by way of miracles – it´s what they do best, after all!

And who knows...the more of us bringing miracles into our lives, the more positive energy we will be spreading and wouldn´t that make a better world for everyone?

I´d say so.

Forgiving Yourself

2009-08-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

It´s a difficult thing to do, no doubt about it. We are strange creatures after all with some pretty screwed up beliefs and attitudes; this tendency we have for refusing to forgive ourselves is one of the prime examples. When we fail to forgive ourselves, it´s like we put ourselves in prison – we can´t get out, the shame and the guilt keep us under lock and key and there seems to be no escape from Self-Forgiveness State Penitentiary. It´s like we´ve committed some terrible, unforgivable crime – we are criminals and we deserve to be punished. By ourselves.

Which is all well and good...to a degree. It´s important to acknowledge when we´ve done something “bad” - hurt someone, been dishonest, caused pain, acted foolishly etc. It´s important to face up to and take full responsibility for all the cringing feelings of shame, regret, remorse and guilt as they come up and, if possible, to try to do something to make amends or resolve the situation. Just because we´re prepared to forgive ourselves, doesn´t mean we have to forget the useful lessons we´ve learned through the experience.

We live in what the Taoists call “The World of the Ten Thousand Things” - a world of confusion, temptation, diversity, challenges, choices, and about another 7 billion people to contend with. Is it any wonder that now and again, it all gets a bit too much and we “act out of character” or do something we truly regret? I´d say, all things considered, it´s virtually impossible not to. We are all here, doing the best we can with the information available to us, making our choices from moment to moment and dealing with the consequences of those choices in the best way we can. When you are finding it hard to forgive yourself for something, you can be sure, as unlikely as it may seem at the time, that it has happened for a reason. You acted the way you did for a reason, the people affected were affected for a reason. You might not be able to see what that reason could possibly be – certainly not through the bars of your prison cell - but there are lessons here for everybody concerned. In the grand scheme of things, everything happens for a reason (even your perceived “f*ck ups) it´s up to you if you are going to turn that knowledge to your advantage, or keep on suffering and beating yourself up.

Try affirming “I now absolve myself of all feelings of guilt and shame”as often as you can. Look in a mirror, look into your eyes and say with feeling “I forgive you”. Sounds lame, but it´s actually very powerful, even if you do feel a bit silly at first – no-one needs to know if you do it in private, and I won´t tell a soul.

But, above everything else, remember this. No matter what we´ve done on the physical level, we are (every one of us) divine beings, perfect expressions of the Tao in human form.

And for that, there is absolutely nothing to forgive.

The Tricky Business of Letting Go

2009-08-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

What exactly is it about letting go that freaks us all out so much? Well, if you ask me, I reckon it's all to do with attachment. We get so attached to people, things, situations, positions, beliefs, opinions and so on that we actually believe we can't live without them. In effect, we believe that we are those things. And if we want to overcome our fear of letting go, then that's the first belief we absolutely have to let go of.

Try reminding yourself every day – as many times as you remember - “I am not my beliefs” for starters and once that new way of thinking has had time to register, you'll find the whole process much easier. This is not just wishful thinking, the fact that you are much more than your beliefs has the added bit of clout that it is, in fact, The Truth. Most of our beliefs, at the end of the day, are inherited. We learn them from our parents or carers, our teachers, our partners, friends, so-called “authority figures” or society as a whole. But as we journey through our lives, there are inevitably times when certain beliefs we once held dear no longer serve us in a positive way. To keep growing and developing, it is essential that we are able to let these outmoded beliefs & opinions go. There is nothing wrong with this – it is entirely natural, no matter what anyone else says and no matter what the outcome or changes this letting go may bring about. And you certainly don't need to be all uppity and superior about it, nor do you have to beat yourself up for once entertaining ideas that are no longer relevant in your life. You've outgrown them, that's all and you're perfectly within your rights to acknowledge that they've worked for you in the past, but to affirm that you now have a different way of being so you're releasing them gently and with love. It might all sound a bit namby-pamby and pointless, but try it – it's more powerful than you might expect.

Once that idea has had time to settle and become hardwired into your inner circuitry, it becomes clear that it can be applied to all aspects of your life. Of course, we all love certain people and hope to have them in our lives forever. We are proud of our positions in society, the money we've made, the things we've accumulated over the years – nice house, car, gadgets, holidays etc. But the simple fact is, nothing and no-one is guaranteed to be around for ever. Anything could happen – we've all seen it in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. Anything. And there's nothing we can do about it, except to change the way we look at it. Letting go of the fear and the dread is the first step; a close second is to make sure we take time every day to appreciate and give thanks for those people and things. Then if someone or something is suddenly taken from our lives, we can go through the whole grieving process – which is perfectly natural, essential in fact – safe in the knowledge that we will handle this.

The thing to remember is that everything happens for a reason. Even if you can't see it at the time. The Tao has it all under control and is working for your highest good all the time – fact - even if you can't for the life of you understand why. We've all had these situations – when we look back and say “wow, had it not been for that horrible thing happening, then this really good thing would never have happened” - haven't we? So, even though it's difficult to remember when you're in the midst of having to let something or someone go, why would you think that this time would be any different? The Tao will never let you down, and the more you can show your trust of it, by letting go with grace and gratitude, the easier the process and the more empowered you become. This doesn't make us hard-nosed, unfeeling so-and-sos, quite the opposite. When we start to trust in ourselves and in the grand scheme of things, it ultimately makes it easier for everybody concerned. Our decisions become more love-based and clear, in other words.

Everything changes – some things go, new things come in. It's life and it's wonderful.

However it appears initially, keep remembering, all change is good.

Intuition Rocks!

2009-08-17T11:24:00.001-07:00

Intuition is, without a doubt, one of the most blessed and powerful gifts we possess. The word itself suggests tuition from within. The problem is, of course, we're not very good at listening to things going on within, not when there's so much going on out there. There's just too much noise, too many voices, too many opinions, too many judgements, too many commitments, too many expectations, too many roles to fulfil, too many responsibilities, too many conflicts – just too much stuff going on in what the Taoists call the world of the ten thousand things. How can you possibly hear anything else above all that racket?

Well, intuition's trump card is that it is, as we've discussed, within you. It's closer to you than anyone can get, even if someone is right up to your ear, hollering for all they are worth, they cannot get as close to you as your intuition. So, it's not exactly a case of listening to your intuition, it's more a case of being less distracted by the outer noise. Once you allow the surface noise to fade, the voice of your intuition is all that's there. You can't fail to hear it.

Which is all well and good, but come on – allowing the surface noise to fade? Becoming less distracted? Pah! Surely that's impossible for anyone other than Yogis in caves or Monks in silent monasteries? And as I'm assuming today is not a day for you to up sticks and follow either of these lifestyles, you'll be relieved (I'm sure) to know that there are options here for us all if we, too, want to quieten down our world and become more tuned into our intuition.

As with most things, it's regularity that causes the magic here so start now and make sure to at least think about your intuition once a day for the rest of your life. It's easy, I promise and way more simple than you might expect – intuition has got a bit of bad press for being all complicated and elusive. It's not. It's there, it's on your side, telling you the truth the whole time. So when you next find yourself in a confusing situation and want to attune to your intuition for guidance as to the best way forward, get away from the noise and go somewhere quiet – the bathroom is always a good choice, how many moments of clarity and enlightenment have happened on toilets around the world? OK, let's not go there. Back to intuition. Breathe deeply into your belly and allow your whole body to relax. Close your eyes and try to move your attention backwards in your head, away from all the hustle going on in the front of your brain, and you'll experience a very subtle shift where everything suddenly goes quieter and calmer. (The more you do this, the easier it becomes until you can actually do it whilst chatting to someone or in full throttle of the day's activity. A neat trick). Then ask. Speak directly to your intuition and ask whatever it is you want to know. Chances are, you'll get a host of different answers springing into your head, but if you listen carefully, there will be one voice quieter than the rest, calmer and more soothing, and the answer it is giving you somehow feels totally right - even if it wasn't what you were expecting, somewhere in the depths of your being, you know it is right. These are very subtle, very gentle sensations but unmistakable. This is your intuition. And if you follow it, you won't go far wrong.

Start today – even if you have nothing you wish to consult your intuition about. If everything is smooth and flowing in your life right now, it's a good idea to start strengthening your connection with your intuition. Greet it, welcome it, assure it that you trust it and that you choose from this moment on to work with it as you appreciate it is only interested in your highest and greatest good. Every time you connect with it, even if just for a second or two, you will becoming more attuned to your intuition which is a sure-fire way of gaining clarity and guidance in all aspects of life.

And if you ask me, making friends with your intuition - that soft, gentle, little voice within – totally makes sense. Because let's face it, living in this dazzling, confusing & hectic world, we could use all the help we can get.

All About Worrying

2009-08-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

We all do it.

And when we're in the throes of it, the last thing we want to hear off well-meaning others is “don't worry”. Have you ever wondered why those very words only cause you to worry all the more?

Well, there is a reason, and it's this. Our subconscious mind is incapable of recognising negatives (hence why when using affirmations, it should only be positive, i.e. affirm what you do want rather than what you don't want) so what it hears and processes is simply “worry”. It's not that your subconscious mind is stupid, nor is it doing this to spite you, it's just the way it is; concerned only with doing and not with not doing. And once you understand that, you can really turn it to your advantage – your subconscious mind is on your side fully and absolutely, after all, it just needs you to know how to communicate with it, to let it know exactly what you want in its own language.

So when it comes to worrying, our patterns are usually something like – worry followed by various methods of denial (telling yourself not to worry, letting others tell you not to worry, blanking it out completely by getting off your face on drugs or alcohol, hiding under the duvet hoping it will all go away) followed by worry. There's no getting away from the worry if there is something worrying you. Fact. You might as well take it by the short & curlies and handle it sooner rather than later then you can preserve your precious energy for the good things in life. And the most effective and speedy way to accomplish this is to change the way you look at worrying, change the message you are sending to your subconscious mind.

It doesn't matter what the actually worry itself is, the best thing you can do for starters is to accept that you are worried – own the worry, take responsibility for it, fully face up to it. Then, if there is nothing you can do right now to alleviate the worry, no action you can take to stop it in its track, start to talk to your subconscious mind and to the Tao within you.

Try something like “I choose now to see the perfect solution to (state your worry). I trust everything will resolve itself miraculously and easily.”

Or whatever feels right to you – the important thing is to avoid “don'ts” and to focus on what you do want – a satisfactory outcome – even though you don't know how that will transpire, or perhaps even what it will be. It's the absolute belief, that unquestioning faith that the Tao will sort it all out that creates the magic.

Next comes the tough bit! Forget about it. Go about your day, being as positive as you can, but forget the worry. This is not a case of denial like we were talking about a few paragraphs back, this is in fact, taking responsibility. If you go along with trusting that simply because you have asked, the Tao will provide the perfect outcome for you and everyone concerned, then you go about your day continuing to worry about it, the pictures you are creating in your mind's eye will be...well...worrying! You may end up inadvertently creating the very thing you are worrying about, the very worst outcome simply by seeing it so in your mind's eye. Your subconscious cannot differentiate what you're visualising and imagining and dreading from what's really happening in your physical reality and will get to work on providing you with what it thinks you want. So, no mixed messages – if you ask for a positive outcome, it's your job to keep focusing on a positive outcome. Even if you can't see one, if your worry is just so huge that you don't know how it can possibly ever be resolved, simply imagine yourself at some point in the very near future, looking relieved and happy, thinking “wow, that was so easy. I could never have imagined it would have turned out so well.”

There will always be something to worry about – it's not always necessarily a bad thing – but as with all things in life, it's how you choose to handle it that matters. Do we turn it to our advantage and grow through it, or do we exhaust ourselves through excessive worry? It's our choice always, but one thing is for sure – if we worry, we might as well be praying for what we don't want.

'Nuff said!

Quantum leaps to help you handle life

2009-08-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

There are two issues under discussion here; handling your life and quantum leaps. Put the two together and you're on to a sure-fire winner.

What exactly does it mean to handle your life? Well, I don't think there are two people on the planet whose interpretations would be the same, so subjective a topic it is, but the one thing we can say for certain is that if we don't handle life, then life handles us. If we allow life to handle us, then we become victims. And who wants that? To feel that you have absolutely no control over events, that stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it? It is in this very mind-set that perceived “bad” stuff happens, simply because that's what you expect and look out for every time you open your eyes in the morning. You can't handle your life because you're too busy dreading whatever life throws at you next and when it does, the only dubious consolation is that you can at least say you were right all along about what a bitch life really is.

Oddly enough, quantum leaps operate in much the same way – you have to just let go, sitback and let stuff happen. The difference here is that when you instigate a quantum leap, it is not done with a sense of trepidation or fear, and the awaiting of said quantum leap is not filled with apprehension and worry. When you trust the Tao enough to ask it to make a quantum leap to occur in any area of your life which might not be working as beautifully as you deserve, ONLY good can transpire. There is no other way it can be. The key is in the wording. It must be positive. Try something like:

I am now instigating a quantum leap which enables me to handle my life more easily, effectively, joyfully, lovingly and confidently.

And what is there to be afraid of in that? Yes, there is maybe an element of reservation – after all, you don't know exactly what's going to happen, you know it's going to be big - quantum-sized no less – and you're not the one controlling it, making it happen, which does take courage. But that shouldn't be confused with feeling timid and scared and dreading what might happen. This absolute trust and faith that the Tao will sort it out and that whatever happens, no matter how unexpected, it will be for your highest and greatest good, and for the greater good of everyone else concerned, is the humble courage of a true warrior.

With that degree of trust, even something as diverse, complicated and confusing as handling your life can be made straightforward and hey presto, before you know it, you've sat back and let it all happen so much that you are truly taking control.

You are handling your life! Enjoy!!

Accepting yourself

2009-08-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

What is it that makes accepting ourselves so difficult? I mean, surely it should be the easiest thing in the world. What could there possibly be not to accept about ourselves?

LOADS OF STUFF!!! We've been raised and conditioned to take on board our so-called “authority figures'” - parents, teachers, religious leaders etc – beliefs, attitudes and behavioural patterns as our own. We inherit a plethora of rules and ways of doing things that are unquestioningly deemed to be “right” from people who, more often than not, inherited them themselves from their authority figures. And should we start to feel that any of these imposed ways of being does not suit us and stray away from the pre-determined path, guilt immediately ensues, we beat ourselves up mercilessly, all because we are not accepting ourselves.

But when you really think about it – what we're failing to accept is not really ourselves. What we've stopped accepting is the status quo. And that's scary for anyone, no matter how head-strong (in fact, usually the more head-strong someone appears, the more scared they really are). If we do things our own way, follow our own path and be ourselves, we think we run the risk of alienation. People won't like us any more. People might laugh at us. People might try to f*ck it all up for us. People might become our enemies and no-one will understand us. We'll be on our own.

And that is utter bullshit! It's your monkey-mind (the incessant chattering at the front of your head, keeping a running commentary of how it perceives everything to be) trying to protect you – which is very nice of it, but if accepting yourself is a key issue, it needs to be reigned in. It's likely to be making some sound points, but it's like a snowball – the more you let it roll, the bigger it gets until it totally drowns out the quiet, reassuring voice of your higher self, whispering to you from deep in the back of your mind. Your higher self accepts you fully and totally period. It doesn't need to work on it, like you do – it just does. So it's a powerful ally in your quest to accept yourself. Tune into it as often as you can and you'll be surprised at just how rapidly you can strengthen your connection to this gentle voice within simply by regularly affirming it to be so. It's the regularity that causes the magic here. Try something like “I now choose to listen to my higher self” every time you go to the loo or whenever you get a quiet few moments to yourself, then don't expect anything remarkable straight away (although you may experience an epiphany) but do be sensitive to subtle changes and sudden ideas that seem to pop into your mind. You may find old, outdated behavioural patterns that no longer serve any positive purpose in your life fade out; you might suddenly understand why you always react a certain way in certain situations; childhood memories and/or dreams might throw light on a part of yourself you're not accepting; or you may simply feel a wave of love and acceptance from your higher self, from the Tao within that knows you only as the perfect divine spark of love and light that you truly are.

And that's all that really matters at the end of the day. We could talk until we're blue in the face about the multitude of reasons we, as human beings, find it difficult to accept ourselves totally. But I'm so selfish. But I'm such a weak person. But I'm so lazy. But I always mess everything up. But I can never maintain a relationship. But I've done something so awful in the past. But I'm a fraud. But, but, but! There will always be some part of us we're not that happy with, something we're ashamed of, something we try to hide – human beings are complicated and the world of the ten thousand things is a complicated, confusing place to be! But by remembering that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around, then we remember our true nature – and that takes no accepting at all.

It just is.

You are a perfect expression of the Tao in human form.

We all are. And that's all you need to know. Be happy!

On Being a Karma Magnet

2009-08-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, there are times in all of our lives when with the best will in the world, someone appears to be right royally taking the piss out of us. And that's not nice. It can cause a whole host of unwelcome negative feelings to spoil our day – uncertainty, confusion, disappointment, frustration, irritation, resentment and finally full-blown, out and out anger. You Bastard!! How dare you??!!

Now I don't know about you, but these are the very emotions that give me a headache and exhaust the hell out of me and I'm not over-keen on all of that, so I'm forever indebted to my wonderful, super-patient husband, Mike aka Von Hash, for sharing his insights when recently we found ourselves on the receiving end of some-one's audacious liberty taking.

“Maybe we're all karma magnets,” he said as I stomped about the house fuming about the nerve, I mean the NERVE of this person! Very soon though, the wisdom and the love behind this perception broke through the layers of negativity and it all began to make sense.

Karma magnets? Of course. We can never control other people's behaviour, nor should we want to, but we can accept that each and every situation we find ourselves confronted with is a perfect opportunity, not only to act with discretion, integrity, consideration and love ourselves, but also to give other people the opportunity to do the same. And what a great gift that is – giving someone the chance to learn and grow, to (without threats or any other kind of pressure) do the right thing and thus keep their karma in tact.

Give it a try next time someone seems to be taking you for a ride. Vent if you need to (I did and it helped), then spend a few quiet moments breathing deep into your abdomen and ask yourself if this is really all that important to you. Does it really matter? If it really absolutely does, then the fact that you've spent time calming yourself and looking at the situation with a bit more detachment, will in itself put you in a more empowered position when you confront the person, rather than just reacting emotionally and charging in all guns blazing straight away, and you will resolve everything with more dignity and strength than you might otherwise have hoped. But the chances are, your source of annoyance will show itself in its true watery colours, and you'll realise, hey, this doesn't really matter all that much after all. Is it going to kill or physically harm me or anyone I love? No? Well then, time to detach. And detach we must if we are to be karma magnets.

Letting it go is the key here. Send a blessing and peace to the person or people involved and get on with doing something fun. Marianne Williamson suggests praying to see the innocence of the person who has angered you and I've found this very effective. For instance, I learned that the guy who had annoyed me so much by taking something then not giving it back, lost his job soon afterwards. His home life, for various reasons, has become complicated and unhappy. Now, I say this with no sense of nah-nah-nahnah-nah, in fact, quite the opposite. With the karma magnet insight fuelling my mind now, I am able to see what a cheerless and sad life he has, and I actually feel deep empathy for him. But luckily for him, the karma magnet concept is still in play – Mike & I are in the background, still providing him with an opportunity to turn things around and do the right thing. If he does, if he returns what he took, then without a doubt he'll start attracting more good his way.

So, that's karma magnets in a nutshell. If you're faced with thoughtless or unscrupulous people, see yourself as their gateway to self-improvement. Give them the opportunity to do the right thing of their own free will. They might or they might not. They might rise to the challenge of becoming a better person, or they might not.

Either way, at least one person's karma will remained undamaged.

If I consciously manifest abundance, doesn't that make me greedy?

2009-08-04T03:03:00.000-07:00

We live in a world of scarcity – or so we would be led to believe. We've had this belief drummed into us from a very early age. There's not enough of anything. Money. Time. Food. Work. Fun. Love. Affection. Honesty. Happiness. Laughter. Holidays. Good programmes on the telly. Gold awards for good pupils. We learn this belief from our parents, who learned it from their parents, and from our teachers, who learned it from their teachers and so on. Is it any wonder that we have such problems wishing ourselves a life of plenty (which we all do, because we know we deserve it) with this as our hardwired, yet nothing more than inherited, belief structure.

And, to make matters worse, this very same belief process looks suspiciously at anybody daring to have 'enough' or, heaven forbid, 'more than' us and automatically dismisses them as greedy and grasping. So, you can see, straight away, there is a conflict here. We all want more, but we don't want the accusations or the disapproval or the rejections that 'more' will inevitably bring to our lives. So we stop ourselves. The vast majority of us stop ourselves and instead opt for a life of mediocrity and struggling.

Now, is it just me, or is that a shit way to live? Here's the truth of the matter. The universe is abundant. Our world, our planet, our lives are all part of the universe – we can't get away from it – so that means that we, too, are abundant. All we have to do to claim it, is to release ourselves from thought patterns and beliefs that aren't even ours anyway – we learned them from people who learned them from other people who learned them from god knows who – and they have no significance or truth in our lives today.

If there is something you would like to manifest in your life, be it money, love, success, happiness, good health, all you have to do is ask. Sit quietly and in whatever way feels the most appropriate and comfortable to you, ask. You are talking directly to the universe, the Tao, God, Angels – whatever term you care to use – and telling them what you want to manifest in your life. And the universe, Tao, God, Angels love it when we do that and here's why. We are meant to be abundant. We are all meant to live a life of abundance. Do you really think the Tao/God is such a miserable mother that it actually enjoys watching us suffer and make do? No. And you know why? Because it expresses itself through us – we are like its ambassadors on earth – so if we're miserable and suffering through being less than we truly are, the Tao is hardly going to be having a good gig, is it?

Try from today to change your thinking. It's OK to invest in manifesting. Just make sure you add the proviso that what you ask to manifest should only do so if it is truly for your own highest & greatest good, and the highest good of all concerned - that way, if you've got it wrong and it wouldn't be beneficial, you won't end up up the creek without a paddle. Plus it shows that you are open and willing for the Tao to scrap that and send you something even better. It's a win-win situation.

Remember, manifesting anything for your highest good is not only your birthright, it is your responsibility. The more you do it, and the more good you attract into your life - making you a more sparkling and vibrant, loving and generous person to boot - the more you might just inspire others to do the same. There's enough for all of us, otherwise we wouldn't all be here. And the more of us trusting this process and getting down with the whole manifesting for our highest goods – which can only be for the greater good of all – the less of us will be left looking on from our unfulfilled and unhappy lives, muttering about greed and unfairness.

Now, surely, that's a much more healthy and productive way for us all to live.

Or is it just me?

Welcome!!

2009-08-03T07:10:00.001-07:00

Hello, & the warmest of welcomes to my new blog. Quite mind-boggling starting to find my way around blog-land, but I'm looking forward to getting down to some serious (but probably not very!) blogging soon. In the meantime, beaming out love and Reiki from the beautiful, magical white isle. :)